leg's life

I best not commit any crimes.

2010-08-17T10:14:00.003-05:00

I think it's a sure sign you've watched too many CSI/Law & Order/Dateline shows when you're losing some ungodly number of hairs every day thanks to crazy post-pregnancy hormones, and the one thing you think every time you pull stray hairs off your body (or your child's or husband's body) is that you'd best not commit any crimes, because your DNA will surely be ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE and they will catch your ass in a flash.

And that is, like, the longest sentence ever. But I don't care.

And also, it reminds me of this excellent song that I *still* cannot get out of my head:

Besides losing the hell out of my hair, mommyhood is good. On my 32nd birthday, Bryan had to work and Jon and I were home alone. My little Jon D. decided that 5:20am was a good time for Mama to start celebrating her birthday (and Bryan was already gone to work). I rather disagreed with him on that one, but we all know that Jon rules the roost, so I had to go along with this early morning party. I was a little miffed about this, but I brought him into our bed and propped him up on my lap to give him a good what's-what about when it's okay to wake up, and that kid gave me the biggest, goofiest grin you ever did see. And that, my friends, was the most awesome birthday present EVAH. I mean, wow.

I remembered that a year ago on my birthday I was in a foul, foul mood for most of the day. Around lunchtime I realized why: when I turned 30, I had been certain that I'd either have a baby or at least be pregnant by my 31st birthday, and the day had arrived and I was still without child. I had a good cry that day, and a lot of reassurance by my husband that we WOULD be parents one day, and I was alright. (Okay, Brandon Boyd helped me be alright, too.) I am so grateful that this birthday wasn't the same story. So, so grateful...

Jon & the Remote Control

2010-07-30T15:06:00.002-05:00

Jon, apparently, has a thing for our remote control. I discovered this yesterday evening as I attempted to entertain him while I caught up on So You Think You Can Dance. (Just in case you want to yell at me about TV and little babies: Yes, I watch TV all the time when my kid is awake. But we don't let him actually WATCH the TV.)

Here he is having an intense conversation with the remote. You will hear me make a funky noise--that's me chuckling. Also, at the end, I make the remote "kiss" him. Oh, come on, he likes kisses! This went on for about 5 minutes, but this is the tail end of the conversation, thus his tending toward being Mr. Crankypants at the end.

This is what it's like in my head.

2010-07-22T16:20:00.003-05:00

The following is a conversation I had with myself in my head while riding the bus to my car after work today. It occurred to me that this is a prime example of why people always said I was weird when they signed my yearbooks.

(After noticing the bus driver's name plate. His first initial was Q.)

It would be cool to have a kid with a first name that starts with Q.

I wonder what his name is. Quentin? Quinton? It could be Quincy.

Quincy's not a bad name. I wonder what people would think if I named my next son Quincy.

Jon and Quincy. Those don't really go together. Jenn said her pediatrician said people should pick a theme for their kids' names so they go together.

Well, I guess I'd just have to have a third son and name him Adam.

Jon, Quincy, Adam. It goes together if they all come together to be a president's name, right?

Yeah, I think weird things. :)

Image of our seventh president courtesy of www.visitingdc.com.

Gettin' 'er dun.

2010-07-19T16:23:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow, I become a working mother. I have had almost three months now to realize that being a stay at home mom is TOTALLY not as easy as I thought it would be.

When I was pregnant, I had this glamorous idea of what it would be like to have a baby and be home every day. I would have a spotless house, since I would be home most of the time. I would finally peruse the many cookbooks I own and love, and come up with fabulous meals to make and have ready every night when Bryan got home from work. I would finally go through all those Real Simple and Cooking Light magazines I have been saving, tearing out articles and recipes I wanted to incorporate in my life, then I'd actually use them. I would finish the quilt I started when my Grandma and I took that class. I would finally decorate my house the way I have wanted to for years, but have never gotten around to. I would exercise regularly. And of course, all of that would be in addition to spending quality time with my child and tending to all of his needs, and my own.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Well, that's not exactly how it's gone.

I think there *are* women who do all of those things, but for the life of me I don't know how. Maybe if I had longer, I'd figure it out. Lately I've been wondering if I'd have figured it out better if I knew this was going to be my reality, if maybe I have subconsciously been operating as though this time with my son is just an extended vacation. I don't know.

For the past two weeks, I have wanted to make spaghetti for dinner. I actually thawed out two different packages of hamburger and had to throw them out, because something or other got in the way of making it. Granted, part of the problem is that we like our sauce to cook for a while before we eat it, so there were nights where I could have thrown it together, but we were too hungry to wait. Most days, I found myself with Jon asleep on my chest on the couch, or he was awake but cranky or bored and wanted Mommy's attention. Finally, yesterday, with precious little time before the *third* pack of hamburger went bad in the fridge, I decided I was going to make it happen. Jon was not interested in any of his usual docking stations (pack 'n' play, swing, play yard...), so into the Baby Bjorn he went. He's big enough now that he can face forward, so I think he rather enjoyed cooking with Mommy. Of course, I was terrified I was going to burn his little tootsies, so I had to do this sort of behind-the-back stirring of the sauce to keep him away from the stove. But we FINALLY had spaghetti for dinner! :)

What I've learned in these three months is that you do what you gotta do to get 'er dun. And most days, that involves some sort of acrobatics.

These Guys.

2010-07-06T20:20:00.003-05:00

These guys, they are pretty much my everything these days.

Bryan's on vacation this week and today he took Jon out on a little field trip. It was the first time I've been alone in our house since before Jon was born. It was weird as hell, but nice, too. I spent a few minutes cleaning, a few minutes on the computer, a few minutes reading a book and stuffing my face with junk food... and most of the time wondering how my boys were doing. :) Technology is awesome, though, because I got updates from Bryan occasionally, including this photo and the caption that Jon likes shopping at Target:

Me, I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

The Breastfeeding Battle

2010-06-21T08:39:00.003-05:00

**I started writing this post weeks ago it seems. For some reason I feel like I can't get on with posting regular, lighthearted stuff until I get this out of my system. So here goes.

Before Jon was born, I had it in my head that I wanted to be one of those mothers who follows her instincts. I acquired a parenting book or two, but I didn't even open them. When people asked if I had read any of them, I replied that I know each child is different, and I planned to just get to know my kid and go with the flow.

I did have a few things I intended to succeed at when it came to becoming a mother. I planned for a natural, drug-free birth, although I knew that things happen that could thwart that plan. I planned to breastfeed--what is more natural or beautiful than providing your child's nourishment and bonding at the same time?

I didn't realize how much I was holding on to these things until Jon actually came into our lives and... what's that they say about the best laid plans? A series of events out of my control took away that natural birth I wanted. And then my milk didn't come in right away, and that's where the battle began.

Breastfeeding was supposed to be easy, as far as I knew. I watched my mom do it with my brother and sister with no problems, I know tons of moms who do it or have done it, it's what nature intended, so why wouldn't it be easy? When it wasn't, I started talking to more and more people and realized that, okay, it's not always without struggles, but if you're determined, you make it work. And also, they have these great folks called lactation consultants who help you through it. Excellent.

So since Jon wasn't getting enough nourishment from me in the first days, we began supplementing with bottles. He'd nurse, then he'd get a couple ounces in a bottle. And thus began the battle.

My milk finally came in, but I had to get my supply up to have Jon exculsively breastfeed.

We met with a lactation consultant, Linda.

We rented a hospital grade pump at her suggestion.

Jon got diagnosed with a milk protein allergy--I was instructed to cut dairy out of my diet completely. Of course I would. Anything for my son.

Time passed and Jon began to refuse the breast after just a couple of minutes--he was only satisfied by the faster flow of the supplement bottle.

We met with the lactation consulant again.

I was steady losing weight, now weighing less than I had in 6 years--I lost about 35 lbs in the first week after he was born, and another 10 by the time he was 5 weeks old.

We decided to get rid of the bottles and use a supplementer--basically a canteen strapped around your neck with tubes coming out that you tape to your nipple. Jon nursed well with it, even though it was a royal pain in the ass.

And then he began refusing the breast unless the supplementer was on it.

Feedings took at least an hour, between the supplementing and the pumping and the struggling to get Jon to actually eat.

Linda kept telling me that eventually he would take less of the supplement and eventually would exclusively breastfeed. I saw no progress toward this, and I was becoming more and more depressed and anxious at every feeding.

When I started to feel resentful towards my son that he wouldn't JUST breastfeed, even though I knew I had the supply he needed, I knew something needed to change. Feeding my son was supposed to be our special time to bond, to look into each others eyes and just be together, the two of us, mother and son. And instead, I watched the clock and dreaded each feeding, having no idea how it was going to go, feeling like I was failing as a mother because I couldn't make it work the way it was supposed to.

There was one Monday when Jon was just over 6 weeks old that I think I talked to 5 or 6 different people, each with a different perspective that helped me realize what I needed to do. And so I decided to stop breastfeeding when Jon was 7 weeks old.

I can't explain how hard it was. What may have been the most frustrating part is that I have never looked down on any mother I know who fed her child formula, yet I just could not make the decision to do that myself. I cried a lot over the next several weeks--I still get sad about it, truth be told. While I have realized that it was the right choice for us, I still wish something had been different. And yet, I don't fret too much over it anymore, because I see how much better I feel, how much better Jon is, how we actually are able to both enjoy feeding time.

I also stopped fretting over it because I have learned that, as a mother, I could beat myself up over a million decisions I have made and will make as a mother, but all I can do is my best.

Welcoming Baby Jon

2010-05-25T12:30:00.003-05:00

One month ago today, Bryan and I welcomed Jon David Klinger into our lives.

Jon was born on April 25 at 10:43am and weighed 7lbs2oz, he was 21 inches long. Seems like I should have blogged about his arrival before now, but, well, this being a mommy business is kind of time consuming, and since Bryan and I both now have 200% more to do every day, blogging just wasn't a priority!

Labor was 43.5 hours. A fair amount of that was pretty easy, because I planned to have Jon naturally, and even though I had to be induced for preeclampsia (a high blood pressure condition in pregnancy), the team at MCV was willing to induce me slowly to try to achieve that. 30.5 hours in, even though Bryan was the absolute most amazing husband and labor partner a girl could ask for, Jon was facing forward and my back labor was so intense and I was so tired that I decided to get an epidural. Of course, that slowed my labor way down, and it took pitocin to get things rolling again. Another 9 hours later, it was finally time to push. By this time, though, I was exhausted, and couldn't seem to find the right power to push Jon out. I pushed for four hours before the doctors finally used forceps to get our son past that final hurdle and out into the world.

We have loved Jon since before he was born, and each day with him we love him more and more. Being parents has proven to be exactly what everyone always says before you actually earn that title: the hardest but most rewarding job in the world. Of course, what that really means and entails can't be expressed to someone who hasn't lived it. We learned that fast. At times it has been incredibly challenging and exhausting, but then Jon is in your arms, and your heart melts and you understand that it's so worth it...

I can't believe he's already a month old. It seems like forever ago that he was born, and yet it seems like no time has passed at all. And here I thought the past 10 years since I graduated college have flown by. A couple of weeks ago we went and visited my dad, and as we left his neighborhood, school buses were dropping off elementary school kids. I thought about what I was doing 5 years ago, and how recent that seems, and how in 5 years, Jon will be toting his little backpack to kindergarten... wow.

I intend to do my best to enjoy every moment of his life that I can. I am so grateful to call myself his mother, and I can't wait to watch him grow into a toddler, a boy, a man...

My son.

If you'd like to see more pictures of dear Baby Jon, you can visit our Picasaweb album by clicking here.

LDB Week 38: Oh, wow, there's a person coming out of me soon.

2010-04-21T17:51:00.003-05:00

I just realized I haven't updated about our dear LDB since week 33! So much has happened in the past 5 weeks!

At week 34, we had 2 baby showers--one with my family, one with my friends. The family shower was at my Grandma's house:

The next day, my friend Leslie gave me a shower at my house, complete with a henna artist who painted my big ol' belly! :)

Both showers were lots of fun, although I have to admit I was exhausted and probably not the most exciting guest of honor. :)

Since then, we have been working diligently to get everything ready for LDB's arrival. Primarily, we had a lot of work to do on the nursery! We've finally got it painted, furniture in, clothes hung in the closet, and I'm working on organizing all of the many, many tiny things that come with babies. So we're not done 100%, but we are at least at a place where if he comes, we're generally ready for him. I'm also fooling myself into thinking that if there's still stuff to do after he gets here, I have 12 weeks of maternity leave to get it done. Am I hilarious or what? :)

Yesterday a friend at work reminded me that both of her children were born before she ever got as far along in pregnancy as I am now. I don't know if it was her saying that, or if something just clicked, but all of the sudden I just felt like he really might come at any minute. Technically, as I write this, I am 2.5 weeks from my due date, and I don't really think he's coming today or tomorrow, but the fact is that he COULD! And ain't that somethin'.

And for those tracking the belly progress, here's me at 36 weeks, so about a week and a half ago. And that is the nursery I'm standing in. I'll take more pics of that once it's done to my liking. :)

Guess I'm becoming a Kroger customer.

2010-04-21T17:32:00.002-05:00

Our fabulous family-owned supermarket chain in the Richmond area, Ukrop's, was purchased by Giant/Martin's last year. Everyone knew change was a'comin', but I wasn't really sure what to expect. My experience with Giant has mainly been in PA, and I have never really been impressed. Word on the street was that the Ukrop's stores were turning into Martin's, not Giants, but still, same company.

So last week, the change happened. My Ukrop's closed down for a week and a day and reopened this past Monday as a Martin's. Or, excuse me, MARTIN'S. Because it's in all caps everywhere. Which is annoying to start with. (Only LOST can get away with that in my world.)

Today I ventured into Martin's for the first time. Immediate impression: TACKY. Big plastic signs everywhere? Excusable, I suppose, since they need to announce the changeover. Workers wearing lime green shirts, and lime green accents on the shopping carts? Too bright, need sunglasses! That bright green faux grass being used as dividers between the meat? What is this, the 80's? And the price tags stuck to the shelves. Jeez louise, I guess those suckers were on serious sale from their print company, because you almost couldn't see the damn food past them!

And then there's the lighting. And people, I'm gonna be honest. I'm kind of--no, I'm DEFINITELY--weird about lighting in stores. If it's the wrong color, I don't like to shop there. Stores that meet my approval are Walgreen's (not CVS or Rite Aid) and Target (not Wal-Mart or K-Mart), and Ukrop's, Harris Teeter and Kroger (not Food Lion and, now, not Martin's). I don't know what it is exactly... it's yellow-y flourescent lights I don't like in particular (although Wal-Mart doesn't usually have that problem... Wal-Mart is just Wal-Mart). Not that I never go to places of whose lighting I disapprove, I just strongly prefer other places. And my new Martin's has that damn offensive yellow-y flourescent lighting.

Oh, and the kicker, as I was checking out, fully aware that this store was not going to be my weekly go-to grocery spot, I hear the kid working the register next to mine say "I think I need a beer." WHAT?! You can't say that when you work at a store that used to not even SELL alcohol and used to have signs that told everybody to go to church on Sunday! Blasphemy!

All of this means that my Kroger Plus Card is going to be getting a lot more mileage from now on. Unless I need a cake or cupcakes, because, thank GOD, Martin's is still selling Ukrop's baked goods. If they weren't, I'd totally be in mourning.

Farewell, dear Ukrop's, you will be missed.

The end of an era.

2010-04-05T18:35:00.003-05:00

Bryan performs his last bit of maintenance before letting the TurboTalon go.

When I met my husband, he had this car that he loved. A 1993 Eagle Talon tsi. I don't know what the tsi stands for, but it has something to do with it being a turbo. He had put thousands of dollars into souping it up, and liked to take it to the race track to drag race it on occasion. Every online identity he had (email addresses, instant messenger names) had something to do with a TurboTalon. Not long after we met, he rebuilt the transmission for the first time. Then he did it again a couple years later, I forget why. It was super fast when it actually worked, and he was definitely like a little kid when he was driving it. As a matter of fact, the only time I ever saw the man sing along with the radio was in that car.

A couple of years ago, after another transmission rebuild, we took it out for a spin and he laid into it a little too hard in first gear while making a turn, and the engine started knocking. Somehow, he never got around to fixing it, and for several years now, it has been sitting in our garage, waiting for some attention.

Well, tonight, the TurboTalon has gone on to a new life. Bryan finally admitted to himself that with the baby coming and with the amount of time that has passed since he actually did anything to it and lack of space we have to keep it around, it was time to let her go. Luckily he found a guy (one of eight who responded to his Craigslist ad within the first 24 hours) who has an extra Talon engine hanging around and who wants to give the TurboTalon a new life. I think that's a little better than if it had been someone who just wanted to tear it apart for the parts. At least now he knows she'll be hitting the drag strip again someday.

Bye bye, TurboTalon!

I know he was sad to see her go, but he's pretty happy to actually be able to open his toolbox in the garage now. Of course, it took less than 5 minutes for him to fill the empty space of the garage with the 3 motorcycles and dirt bike that are still housed there. :)

LDB (almost) Week 33: Our Big Headed Boy

2010-03-18T15:18:00.004-05:00

Today we had one more ultrasound to make sure LDB's little heart is all right (I have a form of Lupus that could have caused problems, but thankfully, his heart is perfectly fine!), and we got to have one last look at our little man before he makes his debut in 7(ish) short weeks.

Of course they do all kinds of measurements, and he is weighing in currently at about 5 pounds. His body is slightly bigger than average, but his HEAD. People, this boy's HEAD is measuring 5 weeks bigger than his actual gestational age! Next to the measurement on the screen, it said something like 97th percentile. His body is more like 60th.

When I think about it, we do have pretty big heads in my family. Bryan's family's heads are pretty average. We have decided this means he's gonna be hella smart. :) I am trying not to think of the implications this has for natural birth. :)

We also got the ultrasound tech to turn on the 4D ultrasound so we could get a more realistic picture of LDB's sweet big-headed face.

People, HOW CUTE IS OUR SON AND HIS LITTLE SMUSHED NOSE?!

LDB Week 32: 8 weeks to grow!

2010-03-14T19:12:00.002-05:00

Yes, people, this belly is getting a little unwieldy. I look at it daily and think, "HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU HAVE EIGHT MORE WEEKS OF GROWTH LEFT IN YOU!?" Oh dear. :)

Everything is going well. It's hard for me to believe sometimes, considering at the beginning of my pregnancy there was so much talk of me being high risk for so many different reasons. That is, of course, not to say that I'm guaranteed to have no problems from here on out, but apart from getting more uncomfortable every day, I'm feeling good!

LDB has not slowed his dance practicing in there. I read the other day that this is supposed to be the peak time for movement, and from here on out he'll be getting so squished that he won't move as much. I'll believe that when I feel it. In true baby-in-utero form, he moves the most when I'm laying down and trying to go to sleep. And to be honest, it kind of freaks me out sometimes. It feels like an alien in there, trying to get out. Strange feeling. Aren't women supposed to feel their babies' movements even more in pregnancies after the first? Man, that must be bizarre.

The reality that in less than two months we're going to be someone's Mom and Dad is sinking in. I have never been one to claim I have any clue what I'm in for. Basically, I plan for it to be harder than anything I can imagine. I have moments where I'm totally overwhelmed by that, but generally, I can not wait to meet my son. MY SON! Holy crap. How'd I ever get old enough to be about to become a mother?!

My nesting instincts have certainly kicked in, but unfortunately this has coincided with every power station wife's favorite time of year, outage season! Bryan has been lucky enough to get a day off each week this month (in years past, sometimes he was lucky to get one day off a MONTH), although last weekend he ended up with a nasty virus that had him laid up in the bed and rendered him pretty useless to do any heavy lifting. And then when he's working 14-15 hour days, I feel bad handing him a honey do list on the one day of rest he gets. So we have made progress in getting the nursery together, but not a lot. We really wanted to get rid of some of the chaos in the house before LDB brings his own brand of chaos, so that has delayed the process a little bit, but for good reason. I'm glad we're not just tossing crap on top of crap to make room for baby.

So anyway, we do have his crib and dresser, along with all of the gear we've received from the baby shower. I'm hoping by the end of the month the room will be painted and his furniture will be in there. Once that's done, I feel like I'll be able to relax a little about it. :)

Next weekend is shower extravaganza! Saturday is my family shower, Sunday is my friends shower. I'm excited for both, and hoping that we will actually be able to find each other in the house amidst all the baby stuff when they're through. :)

LDB Weeks 28-30: Party time!

2010-03-06T10:31:00.003-05:00

Weeks 28-30 were marked by LDBs introduction to the party scene.

Originally, our first baby shower, given by Bryan's mom, was scheduled for the first weekend we were back from Mexico. As it turned out, there was another snow storm coming that weekend, and while it actually didn't affect us or Bryan's parents all that much, the area between the two of us (DC, Maryland, Southeastern PA) got hammered. Bryan was ready to just go, but ultimately his mother and I decided we might as well just reschedule for the following weekend. Thankfully, the guests were available and the switch went pretty smoothly (at least as far as I know... :) ).

We headed up to PA the following weekend, where my belly was the cause for celebration. LDB got all kinds of wonderful things, including what turned out to be about a 2.5 foot tall pile of clothes once I unpacked everything. I knew babies take over your house, and I feel like I'm starting to get a little inkling of just how completely true this is! :) It was a lovely shower, and I'm so grateful to my mother-in-law for her hard work and to my in-laws for being so great! (Check out a couple more photos from the shower here.)

The next weekend was the Arthritis Foundation's annual black-tie gala, the Crystal Ball. Ever since I left there for VCU, I have been on the Crystal Ball planning committee. It's a very fun event and being on the committee allows me to still be involved in event planning, which I admit I miss sometimes. Bryan donned his tuxedo, and I managed to fit LDB and myself into a dress I had worn a couple of years ago. Normally I'm a bit of a priss about not reprising a dress, but why in the heck would I spend money for a maternity formal dress if I can avoid it?

We had a great time at the Crystal Ball. It's always so much fun to see all of our Arthritis Foundation family, and they were all thrilled to see LDB. :) You can see more pictures from our fun evening here.

LDB Week 26: Baby goes to Mexico!

2010-02-21T08:58:00.005-05:00

Pretty much anyone who knows me knows that I am a travel junkie. I get the itch about every, oh, month or two. :) I typically don't manage to talk Bryan into big trips that often, but I am fortunate that I have a husband who also enjoys traveling.

I had heard of the concept of a "babymoon"--one last trip as a couple before you have a young'un to tote around, too. Of course, I welcome any suggestion to travel. We have been talking about going back to the Riviera Maya, Mexico for a couple of years now, because we had such a great honeymoon there. I thought that seemed like the perfect place for our babymoon... a nice, but affordable, all-inclusive and lots of relaxation and good weather!

Bryan was a little resistant at first, I think mostly because he was concerned about me traveling. Luckily, I talked to my doctor about it and he told me he had absolutely no problem with it. Once I had the okay from the doc, Bryan was on board! Of course, that turned out to be just about 2.5 weeks before we wanted to go, but we have a great travel agent and we don't have a problem with fast planning. :)

Everything was coming along smoothly until the week we were supposed to leave. The forecast for our departure day, Saturday, started to look crappier and crappier--a big snow was coming! We tried not to worry about it, knowing how Richmond weather usually turns out (i.e., prediction = 6" snow, reality = 24 hours of rain), but the closer we got to Saturday, the more evident it became that the weather was really going to be an issue.

Early Friday morning, US Airways issued a travel waiver notice on their website. Anyone with plans to leave from certain airports (including Richmond) on Saturday could choose to change their travel itinerary to avoid the weather with no penalty! My boss said, "Why don't you just leave today?" Well, besides the fact that Bryan had been on night shift all week (so had just gotten off of work and had not slept), I hadn't packed (because I had all Friday night), and we had nowhere to stay Friday night (our reservation started Saturday), there really wasn't much reason not to go ahead and go.

So that's what we did. :)

While we stayed at a Courtyard in Cancun that Friday night, we actually ended up getting practically a whole extra day in our vacation, because we originally wouldn't have gotten to our resort until probably 6pm or 7pm on Saturday, and we ended up getting there a little after 11am.

Our five days were spent at Dreams Puerto Aventuras. It was a very nice resort, with a nice beach and a couple of nice pools. The food wasn't gourmet, but it was pretty good, and that was good enough for us. Our room was lovely and the weather was perfect--low 80's and mostly sunny most of the time. We took a trip one of the days to Coba, a Mayan ruins site, and also visited a Mayan family and a cenote, which is a sinkhole that is basically a fresh water swimming hole in the jungle.

It was incredibly relaxing and wonderful to have a little bit of time to just be with each other and not stress about work or getting the house ready for the baby or figuring out what's for dinner. Just this last week I emailed Bryan and said, "remember when our only job was to get up and eat breakfast and decide whether we were going to sit by the beach or the pool? I miss that job." Can't say I'd object to spending the rest of my pregnancy that way. :)

You can check out our pictures in our Picasa web album by clicking here.

Oh no she didn't!

2010-01-21T08:43:00.002-05:00

This morning, I rode the bus to work for the first time in about a month. For several months, every time I rode, I got motion sick, so I just stopped. I really do dislike driving to work, though, and today I needed gas and didn't feel like getting it, so it seemed like a good time to see if this baby still doesn't like public transportation.

Well, we did fine--no motion sickness--but I'm not sure if that's because I am over that or if it's because I spent the whole bus ride either trying to ignore the conversation behind me or trying to resist the urge to slap this crazy woman behind me.

The initial conversation was more annoying than anything... there are some ladies on the bus we lovingly refer to as "biddies." They are very loud and opinionated and generally their opinions are not shared by the majority of bus riders. I was lucky enough this morning to have a man give up his seat for me on a bus that was packed full with about 15 people standing in the aisle, but unlucky enough that my seat was right in front of the biddies. So they were talking politics, and they and me are not on the same side of the political fence. I respect that not everyone thinks like me, so I was just trying to tune them out.

Unfortunately, it wasn't working, so I was still hearing every word when they started talking about health care. And I heard loud and clear when one woman, standing in the aisle, spewed out this little gem:

"You know, I don't have a problem with health insurance companies dropping someone if they get cancer."

EXCUSE ME!?

Oh, friends. Oh, dear internet friends. I turned around to see who the crazy bitch was who had just said this LOUDLY on a bus full of about 65 people, and really and truly wanted to say something to her, but I didn't. Because I was pissed, and I knew that if I said something, there was going to be a scene and I was not going to find any words to say that were going to be nice. And I try to be a lady, at least in front of strangers.

Can you believe she said that in front of God and everybody?! I still can't. Obviously she has never had a family member suffer from cancer, nor does she understand the concept that she's paying monthly for insurance that's supposed to COVER YOU if you have a SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEM. Holy moses.

So I was fuming. I wanted to slap her so bad my baby hurt, but I just looked forward and got out my cell phone and texted away with two friends on the bus.

I couldn't, however, keep my mouth shut when we got to the first bus stop and someone behind her was trying to get off and I heard her say, "Well, you'll just have to wait until the next stop." I spoke up then, and said something along the lines of "OH NO, YOU WILL LET HIM OFF! YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU YOU COULDN'T GET OFF OF THE BUS!" And yes, I may have said it so loudly that probably everyone on the bus heard me.

But at least I didn't slap her. :)

LDB: Week 24

2010-01-17T09:58:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I put a countdown of the weeks left until we get to meet LDB on our fridge... over half way there, and HOLY CRAP that Week 40 mark is coming fast! :)

The past month or so has gone really smoothly. I certainly am tired more easily and more often, and I'm starting to get uncomfortable, but really, I'm feeling good. My last doctor's visit was nice and simple... baby growing well, mommy feeling good, see you in four weeks! I have to say, since I'm in this calm stage of pregnancy, it makes me miss the midwife I started out with... my new high risk OB is great, don't get me wrong, but it's just a different type of care. I talked to my doc last week about getting back in with the midwife group at MCV so that, if I continue to do well with this pregnancy, I can have the natural birth I was hoping for. Hopefully that will work out!

Now our focus needs to be on getting ready for LDB's arrival in... wow, 3.5 months! We have to get a lot of stuff cleaned out of the house and clear out a room for him, we need to pick furniture for the nursery... we're working on it, but it's a slow process with both of us working full time. I thought that I would get a lot accomplished with two weeks off at Christmas, but between getting ready for the holidays and then taking some time to be lazy (pregnant ladies are supposed to do that, right?), not a lot happened. :)

My good friend Traci took me to Babies R Us earlier this week to register. She offered to do this a couple of years ago before I was even pregnant, and I had been counting on her advice ever since. And let me tell you, having her there was priceless! She and I worked together at the Arthritis Foundation and I've considered her a surrogate big sister for the past, gosh, almost 10 years. I trust her advice and we have similar personalities, so basically whatever she said worked for her, I scanned it. :) (With a little personalization, anyway...) My mother-in-law is having a baby shower for me Super Bowl weekend so that I won't have to make the 6-hour drive to Pennsylvania when I'm REALLY uncomfortable and huge, so we need to get to Target and do some registering as well. It's a bit overwhelming how much STUFF you need for a baby!

Bryan got to feel our little man kick for the first time Christmas night, how sweet is that? He (the baby) is quite the little athlete... he is very active and with some of the kicks I get, I'm nervous about what the next 16 weeks hold. I've heard stories of cracked ribs and such, hopefully LDB will spare me that. :)

A Boy Named Sue*.

2009-12-18T12:37:00.003-05:00

Well, it's official, Bryan's been calling our son a daughter for the past several months! :)

We had our 20 week ultrasound yesterday, and found out that we're going to have a son in a few months! We're both so excited, although I think it's safe to say we were surprised he's not a girl. Not disappointed, just surprised. :) We had a girl name all ready to go... no boy name yet. It'll come though. I mean, worst case scenario, we'll just pull a Tom Brady and take our sweet time naming him!

LDB (which can now be Little Dancing Boy instead of Little Dancing Baby) was playing with his feet when the ultrasound started... how cute is that? Like Bryan said, he probably gets bored in there, what else is he going to do??

I've put a couple more pictures from the ultrasound in LDB's Picasaweb album if you want to check them out. :) Also, I will not be posting pictures of his little penis, as I believe 'em when they say that anything you put on the internet lasts forever. I don't want my little man getting mad that I was exposing him to the world, before he was even born! :)

*No, Sue wasn't the name we had picked for a girl, and no, we will not be naming our son Sue. (Sorry boss lady, no namesake for you. ;-) )

LDB: Week 19-20

2009-12-17T08:39:00.003-05:00

(This picture was actually taken at Week 18... but whatever. :) )

Today is the big day--we have our 20 week ultrasound! Woohoo! I have been so excited and distracted by this prospect since we set the date for the appointment. We are certainly not the types who want to be surprised on delivery day with whether our child has girl parts or boy parts. I need to KNOW before I go crazy! :)

Bryan has been calling LDB a girl basically since we found out I was pregnant. It's interesting, because I hear all this stuff about mother's intuition and whatnot, and people ask me what I think. Well, here's what I think: I either need to have my husband stop calling our son a daughter, or I need to know it's a daughter so I can stop worrying that he's going to give our child some kind of gender confusion complex before it's even born! :)

When we had our 10 week ultrasound, I referred to it as a girl without thinking about it. I've also had several dreams it's a boy. So... I have no prediction.

Of course, not having a prediction doesn't mean I can't get one! There are so many quizzes and methods you can use on the internet to determine if you're having a boy or a girl that, truly, what's the use of an ultrasound?

The childbirth.org quiz, which puts a bunch of prediction methods together, tells me it's a boy.
The Chinese Gender Chart tells me it's a girl.
The heart rate prediction method tells me it's a girl.
The Drano Gender Predictor test tells me it's a... wait a minute, people actually pour their own urine in a cup of crystal Drano to try to figure out the sex of their baby?! Um, no. I will not be doing that.

They also sell kits at drug stores you can use to tell you what you're having. Given it has a 50% chance of being right, obviously it works well enough for enough people that they keep selling them!

Anyway, as long as this baby exposes itself like we want it to this afternoon, we'll know in a few short hours if we're expecting a little miss or little mister Klinger in a few months!

Apart from eagerly anticipating today's appointment, all has been going well. We switched OBs to a doc here at MCV that Bryan and I both really liked. We'll see him again today after our ultrasound.

I've been feeling good, apart from being downright exhausted and apart from trying to get used to all this extra business in my midsection. Talk about throwing off your center of gravity! I find myself making grunting and groaning noises when trying to do something as simple as get off the couch ALREADY. And if you know me, you know that I am not a fan of extraneous human noisemaking. I like when people do things quietly. But I'm quickly learning that in some cases, you just feel like you have to make a noise to make it happen. I can tell I'm going to be annoying the hell out of myself before this is all over with. :)

The other day I tried to put on a pair of pants that had always been too big for me and that had been carrying me pretty far along into my pregnancy. Definitely can't button them. For some reason I thought I was going to be able to, but I had to accept that it's all-maternity-all-the-time for me from here on out. Sexy.

Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates. I'm going to try to do better. Once we know what LDB is going to be, I feel like I can really get rolling on planning for (meaning SHOPPING FOR) this tiny dancer, and that's gonna be all kinds of fun. :)

LDB: Week 16

2009-11-19T16:03:00.004-05:00

On Saturday I'll be 16 weeks pregnant. As if time hadn't already started flying fast enough after I graduated from college 9 years ago (really?! 9?!), I guess this whole being a parent thing makes it fly at warp speed?

The past few weeks have been... interesting, to say the least. Last week in particular... but where to start without giving a whole long medical history of myself...

Well, let's start with the Down's screening we did. That went well--our risk of the baby having either Down's Syndrome or Trisomies 13 or 18 is less than 1 in 10,000. That's better than your average 20 year old woman, so that was awesome. But as this pregnancy has gone along, my high risk OB has become more and more concerned with potential problems with all of my health problems. We started out with a midwife as our primary obstetric care provider and the high risk OB on the side for backup, but the HR OB was wondering if perhaps I should switch to a straight up MD, and if maybe I should move my care to MCV rather than St. Francis, since all of my specialists are at MCV and they're basically ready for anything. At St. Francis, they'd have to move me if anything got too crazy.

That probably sounds awful... all my health problems... potential problems... well, the thing is, it's not. I have a couple forms of arthritis and an autoimmune disease called hereditary angioedema and apparently a mild form of something called Klippel Trenaunay Weber Syndrome. None of these poses any real risk to the baby, it's moreso a question of what happens if I end up in a flare of one of the autoimmune things during the pregnancy? Who's gonna handle it? How's it gonna be handled?

Ironically, the night after I had conversation with my HR OB wherein I told him I wasn't worried about this, I have lived with these problems my whole life and I know how to handle it, I had a horrible attack of angioedema. This is a swelling condition... there's a certain enzyme I'm deficient of, and if my levels of that get too low, I have crazy abdominal swelling. The swelling pushes on all your organs and it hurts like a sonofabitch. It makes you nauseated and there's really nothing you can do but take something for the pain and wait it out. Yes, that blows, but I've been there a time or two (or 20) and I know that typically I can sleep through a lot of it, then within about 36 hours I'm getting better.

Well, not this time. I was 48 hours in and my pain was spiking to an 8 or 9 on a 10 point scale, and I was holding steady at a 6 or a 7 when I wasn't having stabbing pains. So I told Bryan it was time to go to the hospital. We came to MCV in the middle of the night on Saturday of last week. I knew I was dehydrated, and I just needed someone to do SOMETHING for the pain and nausea.

Thankfully, the people here took very good care of me, but I didn't get better very quickly. My immunologist came in on Monday and got the process rolling to get in a supply of this wonder drug that IS the enzyme I'm deficient of in a concentrated form. Unfortunately, it's very new to the market and it was going to be 24 hours before I could get it. So I stayed in the hospital, with the lovely doctors managing my pain and nausea and me getting sicker of being in the bed by the minute. Bryan stayed by my side almost the whole time--he was working night shift, so he slept in the chair in my room during the day and went to work at night. I had some visitors to keep me company (thanks Dad, Leslie, Krystyna and Maia!), and finally, on Tuesday, I got the miracle infusion.

It's weird to think that there is a drug that stops a swelling attack within 30 minutes, but there is. An hour after I had that medication in my IV, I knew the swelling had stopped. I still felt like crap, but, I mean, wouldn't you, after being sick for five days and being in the hospital for three of those? Thankfully, my immunologist arranged for the pharmacy at MCV to keep another dose of this medication in case I or another angioedema patient have another attack... next time, I'll be in ASAP rather than suffering for days!

I took Wednesday off of work, too, at my doctor's orders, and Thursday came back for half a day. I think it was weird to everyone that I had been in the hospital yet was already back at work. But once the swelling was gone, I was practically good as new!

Friday I intended to work a full day, but guess what? I got in a car accident on the way to work. As if I needed that on top of the week I had already had! Thankfully it was pretty minor--there was a rear-ending in front of me on the interstate, I had the good sense to be far enough behind the person in front of me that I did NOT rear end her, but the lady behind me was not so sensible, nor was the lady behind her. So... that put another kink in the week. I was a little stiff, and didn't think there had been any damage to Little Dancing Baby, but I went to my midwife that afternoon just to check... LDB's heart was beating just fine, at 152 beats/minute. :)

So, after all of that, I decided my high risk OB is right. I think it's better for me to transfer my care to MCV so that all of the people who know about all of my things are under one roof and can consult with each other (or be available) as needed. So we'll have our first appointment with our new OB on December 1. Good times. :)

In other news, I went last weekend and bought maternity clothes. The bump is growing, for sure. And yesterday, I felt the baby move. I think I've felt it before, but this time, there was no question in my mind whether it was gas or something else... it was our LDB, dancing up a storm in there.

And it was amazing. :) I can't wait until s/he is big enough that his/her Daddy can feel the movement too... I feel like I'm hogging all the fun! :)

LDB: Week 13

2009-11-01T15:58:00.002-05:00

So yesterday was LDB's birthday... or whatever you call it before they're born. I have been feeling pretty good... mainly I've been HUNGRY. It's not totally out of control yet, but occasionally I get this intense black hole feeling in my stomach, and it's typically no more than an hour and a half or two hours after the last time I ate. Baby's HONGRAY! :)

We keep trying to remember to take belly pictures on LDB's birthday, but really there hasn't been much of a change until the past week or two. And most people tell me I still don't really look pregnant, but my pants can tell for sure, and you can probably tell from these lovely pictures of my pale white belly.

Week 5:

Week 13:
I cleaned out the closet today of all of the clothes I was meaning to get rid of before I got pregnant (stuff I haven't worn in a couple years), and while I was at it I took out all of the stuff I won't be able to wear this year but I still hope to wear in the future, then also all of the stuff I still like, but am not fooling myself to think I'll ever wear it again after I have this baby. Not that I intend to let myself go totally to pot, it's just that we women have a tendency to hold on to a few things we love that, really, we should have stopped wearing a year or two ago because they don't fit quite the way they're supposed to anymore. :)

Tuesday is the Down's Syndrome testing... we went back and forth about whether or not to do the test at all, but ultimately decided that it would be easier to plan and be prepared for any special needs if there's a way for us to know about them ahead of time. Plus, there's another ultrasound involved, and I'm all about another opportunity to see LDB in there. :)

September: A Retrospective

2009-11-01T15:37:00.004-05:00

Now that it's November, I have finally uploaded pictures from our camera from the past two months.

In addition to trying to keep the big secret of me being pregnant in September, Bryan and I kept pretty busy.

Let's see..

We spent Labor Day weekend in Pennsylvania with Bryan's family, where I got to hold 6-week old twins. They were born six weeks early, so at the picnic they each only weighed about 6 or 7 lbs. I let Bryan know that our child may NEVER weigh that much in the outside world, since I was the smallest of my mom's three children at 9lbs 9oz, and my Grandma recently informed me that all of HER kids were more than 9 lbs.
We spent the following weekend at the Outer Banks, NC with our dear friends Todd and Sarah. I wore the equivalent of a nude colored bathing suit: And Bryan rubbed off his top layer of skin, and subsequently any sunscreen he had applied, playing football on the beach with Todd, resulting in this: Needless to say, we only had one day on the beach. (More photos of our beach trip if you click here.)
Bryan turned 33, and we celebrated by using a free night's stay I had at the Crowne Plaza Downtown (where we stayed for our wedding night). I gave Bryan a bocce set for his birthday, so before meeting some friends at Buffalo Wild Wings to watch some football, we went down to Brown's Island and played a few games. Fun times!
And on the last day of September, we celebrated our 3rd anniversary with dinner at Bonefish Grill. We also took a weekend trip to Boston to celebrate, but that didn't happen until October, so I'll get to that later. :)

Oh, Paris, I miss you!

2009-10-23T09:41:00.002-05:00

Last week, I noticed a little card on one of the bulletin boards in our building advertising: "Fridays are crepe days at the Who Spilled the Milk cart!" A month or two ago we got this new breakfast cart on the street outside where I work that sells cereal and yogurt and fruit and stuff. I went there once, but this baby in my belly doesn't care for milk so much, so I haven't been back.

Seeing that they'd be serving crepes, though, oh dear. Trust me, I have planned to have crepes from this cart today ever since I saw that ad.

I think most people are familiar with crepes, but if you're not, they're basically very thin pancakes. In other parts of the world, they fill them with all kinds of goodness and you can eat them for any meal. I was first introduced to them when I visited Paris the first time in 1996... in Paris, you can do crepes in a fancy restaurant or as street food. One of the restaurants Bryan and I went to in South Africa was a crepe restaurant... there, mine was filled with some pork/peaches deliciousness, Bryan's had chili con carne. I haven't seen much of the ol' crepe here in Virginia, but everywhere else they seem to share my affection.

Street crepes in Paris are where it's at. Whether you get it with just butter and sugar (to die for) or get a savory option, like ham and cheese (drool), you can't really go wrong. I can remember being torn a lot of times between whether I wanted a giant baguette (don't need anything with it) or a crepe while I wandered around the City of Lights... heavenly times... :)

So I knew at the breakfast cart that I probably wasn't going to be getting real live Parisian crepes, but I still went. What I got was okay... a thin pancake with Nutella and strawberries... but then he rolled it up and cut it in half and put it in a bowl. Hmm. I kind of wanted to school him on how he should REALLY be doing it, but... well, that's not my place, is it?

Anyway, now I can't stop thinking about Paris. And how completely fabulous it would be to be standing in front of the person doing this:

Something's been going on.

2009-10-13T13:33:00.006-05:00

I just logged in and saw that I haven't blogged since September 3! Oh, mercy! And if you'll notice, even that was commentary on the news, nothing about me or my life. And yes, there is a reason for that. It's hard to write about anything when there's something big going on that you have decided not to talk about (at least for the moment).

So August was a crazy month, what with my birthday, my sister staying with us, a birthday party for my Mom and Sister, then getting Victoria off to college. It was one of those months where you're doing good to remember all of the things on your immediate radar and make sure everything gets done. It was a good month, but definitely a busy one.

Cut to the very last weekend of that month. I'll attempt to avoid the whole TMI phenomenon, but let's just say that visitor I expect every month had not shown up yet. And at first I had the "oh, tomorrow... tomorrow it'll be here" attitude about it. And then I had the "holy shit she's never taken this long to arrive but that probably doesn't mean anything" attitude about it. And then, I went to Target and bought a test.

You probably know where this is going now. :)

Because it's something that not enough people who go through it talk about, I have to tell you here that Bryan and I have been trying to have a baby for about two years. I'll also tell you that we went through quite a few (seven) cycles of fertility treatments until I was in an awful place mentally and we decided to take a break before moving on to more expensive forms of fertility treatment. So we did take a break... we went to South Africa, we had a lot of fun over the summer, but I was still thinking about it every month. Until August, of course. That month I was so convinced we were never going to get pregnant on our own that I even called and made an appointment with a different fertility specialist to get a second opinion before we launched into the next step.

Okay, back to the end of August. I went to Target with shaky knees and bought a pregnancy test. I'd been through so many of those buggers during the early days of us trying that I almost didn't want to take it and have the disappointment of the negative test. But I also knew that this was probably going to be the time that all of that changed...

I got home and immediately took the test. I brought it out to the couch and sat with Bryan while we waited for it to tell us our fate. I purposefully bought the ones that either say Pregnant or Not Pregnant, because I did not want any of this "one line or two?" interpretation business.

The little hourglass turned a few times, maybe for a minute, maybe two, and then, this:

I gasped. We laughed. We squeezed each other to pieces until one of us said, "Crap, don't squish the baby!" There were some happy tears. And a lot of... well, surprise!

I called my fertility doc the next day, got in to get some blood work to confirm, went in to see her to find out the results and had an early ultrasound. All you could see was a tiny black dot, but, still, it was obviously there. (Incidentally, our child spent weeks 4-10 being called TBD, for Tiny Black Dot.) We then got appointments with the high risk OB (since I have two autoimmune diseases) and the midwife, and kept our news pretty quiet. Since we had tried for so long, we wanted to have a little more certainty that everything was going well before we started spreading the news. We did tell some close family and friends, but tried to put off telling everyone else until after the first trimester.

Of course, then we had our 10-week ultrasound last week, and hearing that tiny heart beating 174 beats a minute, and seeing our Little Dancing Baby (LDB) moving all around in my belly was so amazing and wonderful that we decided we were ready to spread the word! :)

I've been feeling generally like crap, but my morning sickness and other pregnancy symptoms have been nothing compared to some stories I have heard. Plus I asked for this, so I can't complain. :) I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be one of those people who doesn't have any of that after the first trimester. I miss actually WANTING to eat food. :)

LDB is due on May 8, 2010. The thing that gets me the most is that, as amazing as last week's ultrasound was, it's only going to get MORE amazing from here. Wow.

Here's a peek at LDB from our ultrasound last week. This was after the American Bandstand audition... baby had to take a little siesta after all that hard work! :)

Stranger than fiction.

2009-09-03T06:28:00.003-05:00

People, you can not make this stuff up!

Okay, well, I guess you probably could, but these two stories are real live news items from CNN this morning. I almost barfed on the bus coming in to work while reading the headlines in my email about this first one:

FDA says residue is frog or toad; how did it get in Pepsi can?

Yes. You read that right. Some poor, poor man in Florida took a big ol' swig of his Diet Pepsi as he was cooking some food on the grill, and was greeted with a *SCHLOP* right into the kisser. And that *SCHLOP* turned out to be a GUTLESS FROG OR TOAD! Oh, mama! The wife said when she took the can away and dumped out all of the Diet Pepsi, what started coming out looked like "pink linguine."

HO-LEE MOSES. If that ain't enough to get you off the soft drinks!

There's a picture on the CNN site if you've got a strong stomach or are just morbidly curious. :)

And then, there was this story:

Stranger allegedly slaps crying child in store

Some lady had her kid in Wal-Mart in Georgia, and the 2-year-old was pissed. Girlfriend would not stop crying. I guess it was really bothering this old dude, because he decided he would take the parenting of this child into his own hands (literally). He told the mom if she didn't shut the kid up, then he would. And when Little Miss did not quit with the crying, he sure did. He found them in the next aisle and SLAPPED THE CHILD! Like four or five times, they said!

You know, I bet you that man is the type who sits around with his older friends talking about how parents nowadays just let their kids walk all over them, and what kids these days need is a little discipline! A good smack never hurt anybody when I was growing up! I mean, besides turning me into the type of person who would slap a stranger's 2-year-old in the face!

Mr. Slaphappy was arrested, but first he did apologize to the mother. And I'm sure he said, "If you'd do that a little more often, she wouldn't be so ornery!"

Man, the world is awesome. ;-)

Little Sister, All Grown Up.

2009-08-28T14:23:00.005-05:00

Okay, so part of the reason I have been conspicuously absent from my blog is that my little sister came and stayed with Bryan and me for the last few weeks before she set off for college. She was about to turn 18, and was incredibly anxious to get out of tiny little Bath County, so we agreed that she could come squat in Chesterfield for a bit.

We agreed before she came that this visit wouldn't be like the normal visits she and our brother had made to our house, which generally consisted of lots of shopping and lots of eating out. We would want her to act like she lived there if she was going to be there that long, with household duties and hopefully with a job to earn some spending money. As it turned out, I have some awesome friends who employed her while she was here. Maia and Sue gave her babysitting work, and Leslie somehow finagled an actual full-ish-time gig at her own workplace for Victoria doing clerical stuff. This was awesome, even though it did mean she would not be sitting at my house cataloging the assloads of clothes and such we need to take to the Goodwill. :) (Seriously, use the It's Deductible! software by TurboTax. You will thank me when you get your tax return.)

Anyway, we had an extra car Vic could drive, but since she'd be working downtown and I work downtown, I suggested she, too, take the bus in to the city. She liked this idea, because that meant she didn't have to drive in big scary Richmond city traffic. :) Of course, it also meant that she had to take a *real* city bus from MCV to near the Science Museum. Oh, lord, did that girl have some stories to tell about those buses. :)

The first day she went to work, I rode the bus with her and was trying to make sure she was going to remember where to get off the bus the next day, because I come to work way earlier than she would be coming. I looked at her after asking if she thought she had all of what I was telling her, and she said, "Lydia, you don't understand, it's like country mouse/city mouse!"

And then I got it. I mean, I know the girl grew up in the middle of nowhere, but I guess I hadn't quite realized how overwhelming functioning in a city could be. Things I take for granted (like, for example, walking on concrete?) were basically foreign to her. That day I knew that while she had her own reasons for coming to stay with us, it was really fortunate that she had chosen to do so--the girl needed a transition period before she was plopped down in Newport News to fend for herself!

(She bought herself a cigar on her 18th birthday, just because she could. :) )

So we had a very nice three and a half week transitional visit. :) The time she was here was hectic (sometimes I wonder when my life is *not* hectic), but I really enjoyed it. The three of us became a nice little family unit, with Bryan as brotherdad and me as sistermom... since we still felt like we needed to "parent" her to some degree, but really we're her siblings and she has two parents, so it was an interesting line. Personally I think it worked out pretty well, I think she'd say the same?

She was here to celebrate her birthday and mom's birthday, and then it was time for Bryan and I to pack her back up and drive her to college. Victoria's going to Christopher Newport University, and lemme tell you, I don't know if all colleges are doing this now, but EASIEST COLLEGE MOVE IN EVER!!!! You pull up in a line of cars, then wait your turn until the move-in volunteer students are ready with their rolly hotel carts and big plastic bins on wheels, then they unload your car and take everything up to the student's room, and unload it there. Uh, seriously. Didn't lift a finger from the time we finished packing up the car (although that was finger-lifting enough!) until we had to put things in their place in Victoria's dorm room. Excellent!

It was bittersweet to leave Victoria at school, but she's in good hands--she's rooming with her best friend since elementary school, whose name is also Victoria. I'm hoping they take very good care of each other. :)

Milestone Birthday Celebration

2009-08-26T13:14:00.004-05:00

Two Saturdays ago, we celebrated my mom turning 50 and my little turning 18 at our house. Somehow we managed to get a good representation of my mom's side of the family there, and we had a blast! As my cousin Cassandra always says, it's nice to get the family together for something besides a funeral or a wedding. :)

Cassandra and her mom, my Aunt Brenda (really my mom's aunt, but that's what I call her, too) came up from North Carolina. My Aunt Jean (again, mom's aunt) and her daughter Jill and her daughter Caroline came over (from Hopewell and Chester), and my Papa and step-grandmother Sandra came too! I can't tell you how long it's been since these people were together for something happy. Our friend Leslie also came, since she's practically family. :)

We had tons of good laughs, some decent eats, and way too much cake and fire for one birthday party. Since my birthday was just the weekend before, I somehow got included in this celebration, even though I had my big party last year... 31 doesn't count as a milestone! :)

Mom welcomed 50 with a smile, Vic couldn't stop grinning about finally being 18, and we had a great time! :)

70s Night at Wabi Sabi in Petersburg

2009-08-22T20:09:00.001-05:00

New air filter

2009-08-20T12:15:00.001-05:00

If you ask for a new air filter in your office here, this is the kind of ridiculousness you get. Looks kinda like cotton candy to me. Also looks kind of half-assed, but maybe that's the only way they can do it?

Partying like it's 1999.

2009-08-14T12:50:00.003-05:00

So this past weekend, I turned 31. Woohoo! Luckily my husband is two years older than me so he goes through these ages before I do, so I know what I'm getting myself into. ;-)

A few months ago, my friend Traci sent me an email she had gotten announcing concerts at Merriweather Post Pavilion in Maryland. Lo and behold, one of my all-time favorite bands was scheduled to play there ON MY BIRTHDAY! So of course I began dropping major hints to Bryan, along the lines of "Honey, this is what I want for my birthday," or "Honey, don't forget how awesome it would be for me to see Incubus on my birthday." (One of the most important lessons I've learned about being married: Subtlety doesn't work. Be direct. :) )

And what did he get me for my birthday? Transformer foot rests for the motorcycle! Yes, seriously. But IN the box was the other birthday present--two tickets to Incubus!! And they were FLOOR TICKETS! I was naturally so excited about the tickets that were in the box that I neglected to realize that the foot rests were actually a gift, but I think Bryan forgave me for that. Especially because even once he told me that I was still kind of unsure what the hell they were. Once he put them on the bike though, I was pleased to be able to have two options for where to put my tootsies on long rides. He's so considerate--they really do make a huge difference! :)

But anyway, let's get back to Incubus.

So like I said, they were floor tickets. If you're not the rock concert type, this basically means we were going to be in the mosh pit... the standing room only area. We had the option to go back to the lawn and sit down if it got to be too much or if I got tired, though, so it's not like we were going to be forced to stand all night. I was a little nervous about this, because it has been YEARS since I went to a concert and stood for the whole thing, and in the past few years my arthritis doesn't take kindly to being made to stand for long periods of time. But there's one thing I haven't told you yet that made me SO not worry about any of this.

You see, I have an insane crush on the lead singer of this band. And the thing that makes my husband even MORE awesome for buying me those tickets is that HE KNOWS THIS. He knows I drool over Brandon Boyd, and yet he still indulges me! :) Oh, how I love that man. :)

I should have known when I also got footrest transformers for my birthday that this meant Bryan had figured out that we'd be taking the motorcycle to Maryland, but somehow I had a brief delusion that the 100 degree heat would encourage him to opt for an enclosed, air conditioned vehicle. Yeah, not so much. I whined a little bit about it, but ultimately decided that it was kind of a fair trade off... you know, I'd be free to openly lust for Brandon Boyd and he'd be free to scorch the both of us on the back of the motorcycle for a few hours. :)

After a birthday visit from my dad and stepmom, we hit the road. The ride up was alright until we got to Maryland, where I'm convinced traffic sucks 24/7, 365 days a year. Bryan had also booked us a hotel room near the concert venue, so originally I thought we'd go there first so I could freshen up and look cute for Brandon--I mean, Bryan--but by the time we got close, we would have missed part of the show if we did that.

So we changed in the parking lot. This was a little dodgy, since we didn't have a car to do it in, but we made it work. Thankfully I had decided to wear rather modest undergarments that day, so no one saw any of my bits and pieces. :) And once we got into the concert, I laughed at myself for thinking it would have made any difference to shower before coming there--it was so hot and humid that I would have been a sweaty mess immediately anyway.

The concert was amazing. I said earlier that it has been a long time since my concert going days, and this show made me remember why I used to do it so often. About halfway through, Bryan started checking to see if I wanted to go up and sit on the lawn. I may have said "no thanks" once or twice, but I think my primary response to this question was to look at Brandon then look back at Bryan with a face that said, "Are you crazy?"

Yep, I spent my 2009 birthday much like I would have spent it in 1999--standing in a group of sweaty people, groovin' to some kick ass music. The main difference was that in 1999 I turned 21, so I would have been drunk. This time, I was too afraid I'd pass out from heat and dehydration if I had even a beer--plus I'm too cheap to pay $8 for a tiny little alcoholic drink! :)

The next morning, we left our hotel and went into Baltimore to check out the aquarium rather than drive home in mid-day heat. Neither of us had ever been to the aquarium (although Bryan says he *may* have been), and we enjoyed seeing all of the sea life. The only bad thing is that it was PACKED to the GILLS (pun intended!), what with all of the family vacations and whatnot. So some parts we zipped through, but we did enjoy the 4D show and the dolphin show in particular! And Bryan took this awesome picture of a jellyfish:

It was a great birthday, and after that reminder of how much I love live music, I'm ready for my next concert! :)

Happy Birthday, Victoria!

2009-08-13T18:55:00.001-05:00

My little sister turned 18 today!

Flashback: Halloween 1983

2009-07-23T14:48:00.005-05:00

1983, Hopewell, VA: I was five, and I was hip. My Polly Flinders dresses were immaculate, my curls prettier than Shirley Temple, my Lee jeans and corduroys were matched with perfectly coordinating plaid button downs. I had a sweet Dr. Seuss book club membership that kept me intellectually stimulated. My mom had joined the BMG Music Club and also let me listen to Q94, and pop music ruled my world.

While Michael Jackson and Prince were in heavy rotation on our stereo, it was Madonna that I truly loved. Even though I was very active in the Awanna Cubbies and our Southern Baptist church taught me not to have idols before God, I bucked the system and called Madonna my idol for a good five years. Maybe longer than that. I can remember watching her videos on MTV every chance I got, singing along to the songs, going to Cloverleaf Mall because I just *had to have* Madonna gloves.

The Madonna gloves turned into Madonna rubber bracelets, etc. etc. etc., until it was inevitable that there was only one Halloween costume that would be remotely acceptable. And so it happened that for three Halloweens, I dressed up as the Queen of Pop. It was totally awesome, dude. ;-)

And then, this past Saturday, I went shopping at H&M, and all of the sudden, I was having a flashback to Halloween 1983. I have recognized for a couple of years that the 80's have been creeping into fashion, but I kind of always thought there'd just be this 80's influence and then we'd move on to... well, I don't know, some other decade.

But no. My 5 year old self would have been able to make the PERFECT Madonna costume in modern-day H&M. Seriously, I walked around looking at that stuff and thought about how much I wish I had had those things to choose from back in the day. I didn't think, "ooh, must have this today!" Because that would be weird, to wear something I would have worn as a Halloween costume 25 years ago. Wouldn't it?
I mean, look at this stuff. It is totally 80's-tastic:

I can remember my stepmom, Brenda, telling me back in the mid-90's that everything that was in style was what she had worn in the 70's, and I remember her having this sort of appalled/amazed attitude about it. At the time, I didn't know what the big deal was.

But now I do. Because here it is almost a week later and I am STILL thinking about how freaking old it makes me feel. :)

On Friendships.

2009-07-15T14:54:00.003-05:00

I've always considered myself extremely fortunate when it comes to friends. When I was younger one of the ways I convinced myself it was alright not to be part of the larger, popular cliques was to remind myself that, because of my small chin and not looking like everyone else, I actually had friends who liked me because of who I was, not because I looked pretty or everyone else liked me or whatever. Not that I think that's the only reason the popular kids were friends with each other, but when you have the crappy self esteem I had, you have to find some way to feel better about yourself.

So I never really had huge groups of friends, but I have always had very close friendships, quite a few of which have lasted over the years. I suck at communicating with people, but by some miracle I have a handful of people who know this about me and forgive me for it, and when I finally do get around to calling, time seems not to have passed at all. I don't know what I'd do without these people. Like, when I think about how life-saving some of these people have been, it makes me tremble inside. I'm not even sure most of them know that... I should probably tell them someday.

But the thing about me is that all those years of trying to figure out how to like myself when I felt like so many people *didn't* like me has left me with some wacky defense mechanisms that have negatively impacted a few of my friendships. Because I think *every single one* of my best friends is AMAZING, I sometimes say things candidly that I don't realize are going to hurt someone. For me, it's a straight up question, or it's something I really want to know how they feel about. For that person, it's a judgment or a criticism. With some people, I can tell I've hurt their feelings and I try hard to never do it again.

What hurts the most is that I have lost a few friendships in my life because I said or did something that I had no idea was hurtful until the person stored up years of being annoyed with me until the dam burst open and I was "dumped." Thankfully this has only happened a couple of times, but even a couple of times is enough to really make you question your worth as a friend. You start to wonder if one or two people feel this way about you, does that mean everyone else does too but the dam's just not full-to-bursting yet?

I don't think it does mean that... I think for the most part the people I would put on my list of friends are honest with me and love me for who I am. I also know that in some cases of my friendships ending it hasn't been because of my crazy personality, and I am self-aware enough to not blame myself entirely, but still.... The past week has been weird for me, because I find myself analyzing every relationship I have and wondering if the other person involved feels the same as I do. I want to know what people really think of me, but then when I'm told something that I didn't really want to hear, I don't want to ask anymore...

It's a weird thing to know, that there are people who see you in a completely different light than you see yourself. It's a hard line to walk, between being honest with people and being true to yourself, but recognizing that other people might not perceive your actions or your words the way you intend to be perceived. I really don't know what to do about it right now, or if there's even anything I *need* to do about it.

When it comes down to it, though, is it ever a bad thing to have a good reason to give yourself a little check up and make sure you are really being the person you intend to be?

I guess I'll just consider this my 31-year tune up. ;)

Passing Cass

2009-07-14T12:42:00.003-05:00

Okay, I definitely have the sense of humor of a 6-year-old boy, because on Saturday while we were having lunch with my brother and sister and I said something about "passing Cass," the town that was our destination, and it cracked me up. Actually, it still cracks me up. If you don't get it, just read it out loud. And if you STILL don't get it, switch the "c" out for a "g." HA! Fart jokes!

Anyway.

Because the world would end if we actually stayed home one weekend and didn't go on a motorcycle ride, we decided that we'd head up to see the Cass Scenic Railroad this past weekend. Bryan has a list entitled PLACES WE MUST GO ON THE MOTORCYCLE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, and this was one of them. Happily, my brother and sister live on the way to Cass, so we stayed in Warm Springs on Friday night and saw them for a bit on Saturday before heading up to the ol' railroad.

While my four years in Bath County were some of the worst of my life for reasons I won't get into out of respect for those involved, I'm finding as I get older that I can look at it a little differently. I haven't forgotten the awfulness, but I now recognize that I learned some very, very important life lessons during that time. Some of them are things like "don't ever marry an asshole," but others are simpler things, like being able to identify vegetables in a garden, or knowing what it's like to float down a creek and just be. And so now I can go there and not want to cry. And that, my friends, is a milestone in my life.

Of course, it helps that we always stay at this lovely place called The Inn at Gristmill Square. Sure, the county is better known for the fancy Homestead, but The Gristmill has a certain country charm that's hard to find elsewhere. In the morning, you call down when you're ready for breakfast and they bring you hot, fresh breads and coffee and juice in a little picnic basket. It's heavenly.

Lunch with the sibs was in Marlinton, WV, the closest "town" to where they live, which is about 25 minutes away. We had some good old fashioned country food and got to catch up on what Victoria and Zechariah are up to these days. Vic is eagerly awaiting her departure for college in August, and Zech has gotten a job on some dairy farm which is, in his words, "basically being a slave." Apparently he spent five hours weed-eating on his first day...

We had booked tickets for the Fiddles & Vittles dinner train at Cass, so once lunch was over we hustled down the road. The weather was a bit dodgy, so instead of having our buffet dinner up the mountain, the train took us up and brought us back to the town to eat in their restaurant. Perhaps not exactly the same atmosphere, but there were some gray haired dudes playing some great bluegrass, so we enjoyed it all the same. :)

Sunday morning we got up early and headed over to the National Radio Astronomy Observatory. Lots of research is done here about the universe, and as astronomy geeks, we really enjoyed learning about it and seeing the gargantuan satellite dish, which is taller than the Statue of Liberty and almost as tall as the Washington Monument. Apparently you can "see" a lot more stuff out in space with radio waves than you can see with the naked eye (or a telescope-enhanced eye). They used to look for signs of other intelligent life there, but I guess they've moved that operation out to New Mexico or somewhere--you know, where the aliens already like hanging out. ;-)

The afternoon was spent on another train ride, this one up to Bald Knob. The day was perfect, and it was a nice, relaxing trip. If you go to Cass, though, we would recommend only doing one train ride. We really did the dinner train because there was nothing else to do in Cass, but one or the other would have been enough. Not that we didn't enjoy ourselves, just that, well, the woods you pass through all kind of look the same after a while. :)

Happy Birthday, America!

2009-07-14T08:42:00.003-05:00

For the 4th of July, Bryan and I had nothing planned, so on the spur of the moment (that would be Saturday, July 4 at 2pm) we decided to head up to DC to hang out with our friends Leslie, Ann and Anna. Neither of us had ever done the whole Nation's Capital thing on the 4th, so why not?

We enjoyed a fabulous dinner at Rosa Mexicano, complete with delicious margaritas and the house specialty: guacamole made tableside. Then we headed over to the Mall to find a spot to watch the fireworks.

I think some people get to a point in their lives where they don't really care so much about fireworks anymore, unless they have kids and can get excited through them. I am not one of those people. I get totally stoked about fireworks, and if I don't see them on the 4th of July, you do not want to be around me.

So anyway, this time I got to see them bursting over the Washington Monument. And that was awesome. The only thing is, I didn't know the music is only way up close, so I was bummed that I didn't get to hear the national anthem accompanying them. Also, they only lasted 15 minutes... we all kind of thought they would at least be, say, half an hour? I guess the recession has cut into the fireworks budget?

Anyway, it was still awesome. :)

Our back porch at The Gristmill Inn

2009-07-11T09:52:00.001-05:00

It's a beautiful day in Warm Springs. Headed across the mountain soon to see Vic & Zech, then on to Cass Scenic Railroad for the night.

Our Great South African Adventure: Summing It Up.

2009-07-06T14:56:00.006-05:00

So, that was our adventure in a lot of words. :) But if you looked at that and didn't want to read it all, or if you still want to see more pictures, I have posted some/quite a few of them to my Picasa Web Album. You can get there by clicking here.

Enjoy--we certainly did! :)

Our Great South African Adventure: Days 13 & 14

2009-07-01T15:29:00.003-05:00

DAY 13

Our last touring day! And it was a nice easy one, which we spent winetasting in the Cape Winelands. We visited three different wineries, and along the way also stopped at the Afrikaans language memorial, the prison where Nelson Mandela spent his last few years of incarceration, and two adorable towns, Franschoek and Stellenbosch. Truly a lovely way to end the adventure!
Once Alex dropped us off and said goodbye, we chilled out for a while and then our group went out for one last dinner together, and then we ventured to Long Street, a nightlife hotspot in Cape Town. Our Irish girls had heard there was a great bar called the Dubliner, so of course we had to check it out! Bryan was fascinated to find a guy there wearing an Eagles baseball cap.

DAY 14

And finally, it was time to go home. Our flight didn’t leave until later in the evening, so we did have some time to head back to the V & A Waterfront to do some shopping and have lunch and take a few last pictures. By this point I was feenin’ for some real American fast food, so I had to have the closest thing I could find—KFC! Which is apparently very popular there—I saw far more KFCs than I did McDonalds! And surprisingly, it tasted just like our KFC.
We headed to the airport late in the afternoon and eventually settled in for our lovely 19 hour flight back to the US. Holy crap were my ankles swollen at the end of that, but, trust me, it was totally worth it!

Our Great South African Adventure: Day 12

2009-07-01T15:13:00.004-05:00

Note: I'm posting the trip in increments of one or two days, so make sure you start from my first post and work your way backwards--just follow the titles!

DAY 12

One of the main “attractions” of Cape Town is Table Mountain. I say attractions in quotation marks because it’s a mountain, not man-made, so not sure if that’s the right word for it. Anyway, Table Mountain is known for the amazing views of the area you can get from the top, and we all wanted to check it out. We were incredibly lucky after a week and a half of clouds to have a perfectly clear day! It was gorgeous. You get to the top by cable car. And if you are afraid of heights, I recommend either hiking to the top or wearing an eye mask. Because I am *not* afraid of heights and I was a little freaked out. It was, however, totally worth it when we got to the top—the view really was spectacular.
After Table Mountain we headed to Cape Point and the Cape of Good Hope, which is the most southwesterly point of the African continent. Apparently this is THE place to take your photo, and for some reason I did not feel it necessary to hold my hair off of my face in spite of the insane winds. So, truly, I promise, I was there!
After our photo op we headed up to have lunch at Cape Point, which is in the same general area, it’s just not THE southwesterly tip. And again, with the spectacular views!
Next stop: Simons Town and the penguin colony! These dudes were so adorable. I could have watched them for hours.

Our Great South African Adventure: Days 10 & 11

2009-07-01T14:46:00.002-05:00

Note: I'm posting the trip in increments of one or two days, so make sure you start from my first post and work your way backwards--just follow the titles!

DAY 10

According to the itinerary we got from the company we booked this package through (a US company, not the one who actually conducted the tour in S. Africa), we were supposed to go on a train ride this morning on, like, the oldest steam train in Africa, or something. We were looking forward to that—not every day you get to ride a steam train, you know? Well, it turns out the info we got was a bit dated—the train has not been running for three years!!! I was bummed, but not as bummed as Bryan, who I had to drag away from the train station…
We set out fairly early this morning for Oudtshoorn in the Western Cape region. Our first stop was the Cango Caves, a place that was cool but reminded me a lot of Luray Caverns. Of course, Luray Caverns doesn’t have an AWESOME story about a woman who was told she was too large to go on the “adventure trail,” which is comprised of several small tunnels in addition to more difficult terrain. This woman was offended at the perceived size discrimination, so she insisted on going anyway. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, she got stuck. For ten hours. With 30+ people stuck behind her. My favorite quote from a woman in our tour group (not one of my traveling companions): “I don’t understand, why didn’t they just put a string around her and pull her out?” Right… because string would be strong enough, and also, I’m sure they didn’t think of that, what dummies!
After the Cango Caves, we headed out for a delicious lunch of ostrich steak. Contrary to what you’d think (or what I thought, anyway), ostrich is red meat, not white meat like most birds. And it was probably my favorite new thing I ate while in S. Africa. Once we finished lunch, we went to the ostrich farm to play with these cutie pies. (Yes, eating ostrich BEFORE meeting the birds was intentional.) Did you know you can stand on ostrich eggs and they won’t break? Cool, huh? There was also an opportunity to ride the ostrich, which I would have done were it not raining (I didn’t want wet ostrich juice on my jeans for the rest of the trip). Instead we got to sit on them. By that time they brought out a blanket, so I would have ridden the ostrich with the blanket on, but our guide didn’t bring it up again, so neither did I. Then it was time for the ostrich race, for which we were the finish line! Luckily their jockeys knew when to put on the brakes so we didn’t get trampled by giant birds.
We spent the night at the lovely Queen’s Hotel in Oudtshoorn. The afternoon was free for us to wander around, and while the town itself is lovely, everything was closed because it was some sort of national holiday.

DAY 11

To recap: driving, driving, driving. I think it was like 6 hours from Oudtshoorn to Cape Town. We saw lots of great scenery, stopped at a cute shop for a break, had some S. African fast food for lunch. We arrived at our hotel in Cape Town late in the afternoon, and it was almost like coming home! We had been changing hotels basically every night (except for Kruger and Knysna, where we stayed 2 nights each), so being able to dump our stuff in our last hotel in Cape Town and not have to repack it as soon as we unpacked was GLORIOUS!
That evening we ventured down to the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront for dinner and to check out the area. Our guide had given us a tip to take the public bus, which basically cost us $.50/each, so getting there and home was way easy. We wandered around (and around and around) while Bryan tried to figure out how to get some of our pictures off of the camera and onto a CD, and then we ate at the S. African equivalent of Applebee’s. At this point, fancy dinners were getting kind of old.

Our Great South African Adventure: Day 9

2009-07-01T14:31:00.004-05:00

Note: I'm posting the trip in increments of one or two days, so make sure you start from my first post and work your way backwards--just follow the titles!

DAY 9

Knysna (pronounced nye-zna) was GORGEOUS! In the morning we took a boat cruise over to the Featherbed Nature Reserve, where we got a ride to the top of the hill and walked down one side of the Knysna Heads, two sandstone cliffs that mark the entrance to the Knysna Lagoon. Talk about some spectacular views! Then we had a most delicious lunch of a bunch of things I couldn’t identify but enjoyed immensely. :) I know one of them was kudu, another antelope thingy. I ate a lot of those. :)
The afternoon was reserved for the Knysna Elephant Park! I had been looking forward to this since we booked the trip. It was something I had discovered on my own, it wasn’t part of our planned itinerary, but our companions decided to come with us anyway. This was great, except I had every intention of paying whatever it cost to ride the elephants, and Bryan was on board. Our friends, however, weren’t as crazy about the elephant friends as I am, so they didn’t really want to pay that much, and it was going to be about 4 hours after we got there until Bryan and I would be done with that adventure, so we decided that we didn’t want to make them wait for us AGAIN. Instead we all did the meet & greet & feed with the elephants. We each got a bucket of food and drove out to where the elephants hang out. We fed them, and got to touch them and walk around with them for a while. Really when it was all said and done, I was satisfied with that, but I told Bryan he owes me an elephant ride at some point in our lives. :)
We had the evening to ourselves, and we strolled around the waterfront and had a great Italian dinner—we were ready for non-South African grub! Afterwards we had a dip in the hot tub, where we totally overheated, and then had to go back and repack our suitcase, since we had dropped our laundry off to be done that morning.

Our Great South African Adventure: Days 7 & 8

2009-06-30T14:58:00.003-05:00

Note: I'm posting the trip in increments of one or two days, so make sure you start from my first post and work your way backwards--just follow the titles!

DAY 7

I couldn’t get enough of the wild animals, so Bryan and I decided to do another game drive, this time in the Hluhluwe-Imfolozi Park. The weather had finally cleared up the day before, so this was our first chance to see a beautiful African sunrise (since we left the hotel at 4am!!). We didn’t get to see the elusive leopard, but we did get a lot closer to the buffalo, and we saw more giraffes, zebras, wildebeests and elephants.
Next it was back in the van for a long drive to Durban, one of the big cities in South Africa. Durban is known to have a fair bit of crime in the city, so we actually stayed a little north of the city in an area called Umhlanga. Linda dropped us off there just after lunch, and then he left us! We were sad to see him go, he was a great guide!
Durban was the warmest city we had been in, and our hotel was a short 5 minute walk from the beach. Bryan and I grabbed a pizza and then headed down and relaxed a bit on the shore of the Indian Ocean. I was struck by the difference in their sand (if you can call it that) and ours—there it was basically small pebbles and shells. We didn’t change into our bathing suits before going down, but I did roll up my pants legs and get my feet in the water. When else am I going to have a chance to get in the Indian Ocean?! Bryan put his hand in… that was enough for him. :) It was VERY chilly, that water!
Since the sun was out and our hotel had a pool, we did go back and put our swimsuits on and lounge by the rooftop pool for a bit. That was the only time the bathing suits came out. And, really, it was a little too chilly for them that day, but we were determined to make the most of it. :)

DAY 8

Day 8 was a travel day. We were scheduled to fly from Durban to Port Elizabeth, where we’d meet our new guide who would be with us for the rest of the trip. Somehow our three travel companions had an earlier flight than us, so we got to sleep in a bit while they got to wait for us in Port Elizabeth. :) This was okay when they were only waiting an hour or so, but we encountered quite a debacle at the airport. To make a long story short, one of South Africa’s rugby teams had decided they wanted to go to P. E. that day, and they took over the flight we were supposed to be on. With all of their equipment, they were too much weight, so we got booted. Of course, South African Airways told us we couldn’t go on the flight because there was really bad fog in P. E. and the pilot HAD TO carry extra fuel and that was making the plane too heavy. When we finally did arrive in P. E. 3 hours later, the sky was clear, and Alex, our new guide, informed us that it had been beautiful all day. Nice. Alex would be with us for the rest of the trip, and he provided a whole different perspective from Linda. Alex’s parents were Dutch, but he had been born in S. Africa. His and Linda’s views of their country were similar, but there’s still a distinct difference (from what I could see) between white South Africans and black South Africans. It’s funny, because, as an American, it seems wrong to make that distinction in writing, but for them it’s very natural—apartheid ended just 15 years ago, so the separation is still very relevant.
Next we headed to Knysna, where we’d be for 2 nights. We were now in the southern part of the country, and boy, is it different from the parts we’d spent our first week in! Equally beautiful, but in a totally different way. We arrived at our hotel in time for dinner, where Bryan and I both tried springbok, a type of small antelope. I liked it, I don’t think Bryan liked it as much.

Our Great South African Adventure: Days 5 & 6

2009-06-30T14:27:00.003-05:00

Note: I'm posting the trip in increments of one or two days, so make sure you start from my first post and work your way backwards--just follow the titles!

DAY 5

We headed out early, but luckily we had about 2 hours worth of driving through the park to spot a few more animals. Saw one elephant up on this rock mountain and watched him for a while—no idea how he got up there! I actually saw him before Linda pointed him out, but after you spend HOURS trying to spot wildlife in the brush, every rock starts to look like an elephant or a rhino, so I hadn’t said anything because I was sure no elephant could be up on a mountain like that. We also spotted a baby rhino with its mother (although it was behind the brush so couldn’t get a good shot of it), and just as we were about to leave I saw a mama elephant and her two babies about to cross the road. Precious!
Once we were out of Kruger, it was on to Swaziland! Swaziland is a small country that’s landlocked by South Africa. It’s ruled by a king who gets a new wife every year. I think he’s up to 16, and he only turned 40 last year.
Once we got through customs, we went to the Swazi Cultural Village, where we were treated to some traditional singing and dancing. I really enjoyed this afternoon! We also got to see how they used to build their homes and such, and had an authentic Swazi buffet lunch, which Linda told us reminded him of home. Good stuff!
Our next stop was the Ngwenya Glass Factory, which was SO COOL. Well, I mean, it was really HOT in there, temperature wise, but watching them making things out of glass was really neat. I could have stayed and watched that for hours.
We stopped by the Swazi market to get some souvenirs, and I was reminded how uncomfortable bartering makes me. Got some good deals all the same, and then it was to the hotel to check in and get some dinner. A few of us went over to the hotel next door and visited the casino. We played a little roulette, a little black jack… it was fun, but a casino is a casino is a casino, you know?

DAY 6

On the way back into South Africa, we first visited the Swazi Candle Factory. Cool stuff there, but we were a bit early for the candle makers so didn’t get the full demonstration.
Driving through Swaziland (and most of this portion of South Africa) was an experience in itself. In Swaziland there are people walking along the roads EVERYWHERE—including children as young as, say, 5 years old. Linda told us there’s no fear of kidnapping or anything, so that’s how the kids get from school to home and such. I was quite surprised when, in one stretch of about 3-4 miles, we passed no less than 6 little boys peeing. Like, right on the side of the road. I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go. There were also tons of cows everywhere—they’re not kept in any sort of enclosure during the day, they just round them up at night. Also, many people in Swaziland still live in thatched-roof, mud & stone huts that they build themselves. It’s fascinating to see.
Our stop for the evening was St. Lucia, back in South Africa. We arrived to discover that we were sharing our hotel with the Harley Davidson rally! So that was fun. J We had a couple hours to chill out, then we went on a sunset cruise on Lake St. Lucia, known as a sanctuary to hippos and crocodiles. Dinner that night was VERY fresh seafood… so good!

Our Great South African Adventure: Day 4

2009-06-30T14:15:00.004-05:00

Note: I'm posting the trip in increments of one or two days, so make sure you start from my first post and work your way backwards--just follow the titles!

DAY 4

SAFARI DAY! Probably the day we were most looking forward to on the trip. And it did not disappoint! The weather sucked (again)—Bryan tells me it was in the low 60’s, but I would swear it was colder than that. But maybe he’s right, because 60 when you’re in an open jeep with the wind blowing and it raining off and on feels more like 45-50. Bryan had the good sense to make me bring a pair of his socks to use as gloves, and the tour company had plenty of blankets for us to use, so I survived. And seriously, when you’re on the lookout for/seeing all of these animals you’ve only ever seen on TV or in the zoo, being cold is the least of your concerns.
On the subject of animals: The “Big 5” are the ones that everyone tries to see. They are: rhino, elephant, lion, leopard, buffalo. We saw all of those except the leopard. Which we were fine with, because we got to see a couple of cheetahs instead, and there are only ~200 of those in the whole park!
We also saw: lots of giraffes and zebras and wildebeests, warthogs, kudu (a type of antelope), impala (another type of antelope, but more like our deer), all kinds of birds, hippos, crocodiles, baboons…
Our guide was set on us seeing as many of the big 5 as possible. We actually got back about an hour late because we couldn’t find any lions, but then we came upon a pride of about 6 of them, then just a couple minutes later we encountered two females walking down the road right in front of us! They were on the hunt, and our driver hung out for a while to see if we could see them in action, but apparently they take their sweet time attacking, so we had to go. And I have to say, we were all disappointed not to get to see Mother Nature in action. Which was surprising to me, because I hate to watch anything die… but it’s weird, when you’re out there, you WANT to see that!

Our Great South African Adventure: Day 3

2009-06-29T15:21:00.003-05:00

Note: I'm posting the trip in increments of one or two days, so make sure you start from my first post and work your way backwards--just follow the titles!

DAY 3

Plan for the day was to see some of the natural wonders of this part of the country before arriving at Kruger National Park. Weather was worse than the day before—the fog was not making our photo ops look very promising.
Bryan thought maybe if we gave the sun a little time to burn off the fog we’d have a better chance to see some things, so he “forgot” to turn in the key to our hotel room and didn’t “remember” until we were about five miles down the road. And since it was a real live key, not some plastic card thingy, we had to turn around.
Bryan’s “plan” worked! We got to our first site, Blyde River Canyon, and we could SEE! We visited one area of the canyon called the potholes, and one called Three Rondavels. Truly a beautiful place, but I have a thing for canyons anyway… Next we tried to go to God’s Window, but it was so foggy that Linda drove past the entrance to it because the sign was hidden behind the fog. Yeah, we weren’t going to see anything from there.
After a quick lunch in Graskop (at some crepe place, yum!), it was on to Kruger! We got to our camp, Pretoriouskop, around 5pm, and were greeted by a bunch of monkeys, guinea fowl and impalas running around the campsite. We stayed in a chalet, which in this case was a fancy word for “concrete thatched roof hut.” It was simple, but nice. Dinner was at the restaurant at the camp—I had some sort of venison stew (not sure what the meat was, but it was tasty), Bryan had a steak. It was Chris’s 60^th birthday that day, so Linda bought him a cake and a bottle of wine and the wait staff sang Happy Birthday to him in both English and Zulu. Cool, huh?

Our Great South African Adventure: Day -1/1 & 2

2009-06-29T14:55:00.005-05:00

It ain't easy to summarize 14 days of adventure, but I've tried! I decided to post it in one or two day increments, but I'm going to post in chronological order, so, just make sure you follow the numbers in the titles. This one starts with Day -1 because our vacation actually didn't start until the day after we left. :)

Anyway, I present to you, our great South African Adventure!

DAY-1/1:

We left on a Saturday, but didn’t arrive until Sunday evening. My dad was kind enough to drive us to the airport, which made life SO MUCH EASIER. Thanks again, dad.
Our flight from ATL to Johannesburg was delayed for a couple of hours—probably because no flight out of Atlanta except the one you only have 15 minutes to catch can ever depart on time. Once we got on the plane, we sat there for another hour + because, as we later discovered, there was some issue with someone touching someone else’s leg and one of those people got kicked off the plane. Was dying to know if it was the toucher or touchee, but didn’t feel right asking.
Arrived in Jo’burg several hours late, but that was alright. Had just enough time to eat and go to bed. Dinner at the hotel was tasty and we discovered that restaurant prices are about 50-75% of what they are in the US. Nice.

DAY 2:

Met our guide, Linda, a South African guy from outside of Johannesburg. His family lives in the city but keeps ties to their tribal roots, so he was a wealth of knowledge and insight about black South African culture and history.
Since we were in a tour group, we knew we’d be traveling with others, but didn’t know who they’d be. We met them Monday morning—two Irish girls on holiday together, Lorraine and Susan, and an Englishman doing the trip on his own, Chris. We were grateful that we got along very well with all of them, and they managed to not pick on us too much even though we’re American.
Quick drive through Pretoria, the capital city. Stopped for photos at the parliament building, that was about it.
Headed northeast en route to Pilgrim’s Rest, where we would stay for the night. Encountered so much fog that I had to close my eyes because not being able to see more than 3-5 ft in front of the van was freaking me the hell out. Thank God Linda knew where he was going.
Arrived in Pilgrim’s Rest with enough time to walk around and check out this quaint village. The town was founded way back in the gold rush days for the miners, and they’ve kept that feel to it.
Got shit on by a bird. Had to “shower” in a tub with only a shower head, no standing shower or shower curtain, because our hotel, The Royal Hotel, is intent on its authentic Victorian styling. Did not enjoy being shit on OR sitting in the tub that I was rinsing the bird shit into. “Showered” several times in a row until I was sure that pigeon poop was all gone. *shudder*
A nice normal dinner of steak and some awesome dessert, then joined our traveling companions in the bar at the hotel. Supposedly it was formerly a church and the actual bar was formerly an altar, but we didn’t see it.
Met JT, a native of Pilgrim’s Rest, in the bar. Apparently his dad Johnny owns the OTHER pub in town, and he came to our bar after he finished his bartending shift. JT looked a lot like Brendan Fraser (the actor), only he was huge. JT bought us several (many) shots to show us what “locals” drink, and a jolly good time was had by all.

Bryan Gets Bluetooth

2009-06-24T19:54:00.003-05:00

One of the many reasons I love my husband is that he makes me laugh my ass off on a daily basis. Like today, when he waited for me at the bus stop after work. I got off the bus and he was sitting next to my car on his motorcycle, talking on his "bluetooth." This picture totally cracks me up, especially because he was having a totally serious work conversation like that.

Overheard while Working for the State

2009-06-23T08:38:00.003-05:00

The researcher works for a division that is, for all intents and purposes, split. One administrative assistant handles the research side, another handles the clinical side. This conversation occurs between the researcher and the RESEARCH administrative assistant.

Researcher: The punch button lock on my lab is broken, I can't get in, can you help me?

Admin. Assistant: Well, there are two clinical doctors' offices in that lab, so Dr. X's assistant is going to have to help you.

Researcher: She's not in today. What should I do?

Admin Assistant: I don't know. That lab isn't my job.

And what, you may ask, was the solution to this problem? 1) Call facilities management and tell them the lock is broken. 2) Go to the person you know has the master key for the floor and ask her to use the key to unlock the door.

Actual time taken by someone willing to help to solve the problem: 3 minutes.

Back to reality.

2009-06-22T14:15:00.003-05:00

Well, peeps, we're back!

We got home yesterday afternoon from our two-week adventure in South Africa. Thankfully our return home was not at all stressful, since my dad picked us up from the airport and Delta was kind enough to hang on to our luggage in Atlanta for a few extra hours and deliver it to our house yesterday evening. I mean, seriously, it's not all that bad when your luggage doesn't quite make it on your plane if you're just going home, because then someone ELSE lugs that shit to your house for you, AND you get a few hours to decompress at home before you have to feel guilty that you haven't unpacked your suitcases yet. Am I right, or am I right?

People keep asking me how the trip was, and my response has been either "it was great!" or "it was amazing!" Because, really, how the heck do you summarize fourteen days where you did something different EVERY DAY? So I figure I will give a pretty detailed recap of our trip on this blog as soon as I can sift through the pictures and get my thoughts together, that way if you want to know exactly what happened, it'll be here. If not, well, just don't read it. I promise my feelings won't be hurt. :)

Seriously, though, it was a super trip. South Africa is a beautiful country and each different town we went to was significantly different from the one before it. I think we both loved the variety of beautiful scenery, but the animals were the highlight, with our safari game drives and visits to various animal parks/preserves/farms.

I can't wait to tell you all about it, and I promise to do so soon! :)

Congrats, Grad!

2009-06-06T08:25:00.003-05:00

Last night, my baby sister graduated from high school! I can't believe she's old enough to do that, but there she was, cap and gown and all. :)

I picked my mom up at her house and we rode up together. Unfortunately Bath County has an infamous speed trap to which I fell victim... it was kind of amusing, because the rest of the night when I told people from BC that I had gotten a speeding ticket, they said, "Oh, at XXX place?" Yes. Everyone in that damn county knows where the speed trap is--including me--but I had been so wrapped up in conversation with my mom that, God forbid, I neglected to slam on the brakes as I came down a mountain and missed the fact that it turned from 55 to 45 for--and I quote my lovely State Trooper--"just about a mile there." ARG!

ANYWAY! My speeding ticket was not the most important thing of the night. It was Victoria's special night, and I was so proud to see her up there getting her diploma. She is an amazing young woman, and I am so excited to see what she will do with her life. In August she'll begin college at Christopher Newport University. It will be an extreme change to live in Newport News after living her whole life in the country, but I think she's gonna do alright. :)

I love you, Vic!

South Africa, here we come!

2009-06-05T08:49:00.003-05:00

Image courtesy of Virtual Tourist member Jenniflower.

I can not believe that tomorrow we leave for our trip to South Africa. ACK! I am so excited.

We'll be there for 14 days, and then there's the ~2 days it's going to take us to get there and back. We leave tomorrow afternoon from Richmond, fly to Atlanta, and then hop on some giant-ass jet that will take us from Atlanta to Johannesburg, South Africa. I think it's like a 15 hour flight. No idea what that's going to be like, but luckily it's overnight, and I intend to pack some Tylenol PM for us.

While we're there, we'll be bopping around the country, not staying in any one place for more than 2-3 nights. The tour we're doing is called "A World in One Country," so while it'll be totally whirlwind (I suspect), we are going to see SO MANY different things. I have always been fascinated by Africa, and it seems that South Africa is going to give us a taste of all of the things I've always wanted to see.

Map photo courtesy of Thompsons Tours, the company who'll be our guides!

Here is a link to our itinerary. We've borrowed my Uncle Bruce's fancy pants camera, and we have the video camera my dad & Neener gave us for Christmas, and we have our trusty little digital camera, so I can assure you we will have tons of pictures to share when we get back.

I. Can. Not. Wait!!!

Grammer Family Fish Fry

2009-06-05T08:29:00.002-05:00

Last weekend, my dad's side of the family got together for a family reunion. We used to do this every year at White Bank Park in Colonial Heights, but I think it's been probably 15 or 20 years since we got together. My Uncle George, who is my late grandfather's brother, mentioned to my Uncle Bruce (my dad's brother) last year that he missed those gatherings, and once the idea was planted, the Fish Fry plans got underway.

The culmination was a gathering of about 70 people in my grandma's back yard last Sunday. I knew approximately 1/3 of those people, recognized another 1/3, and if I had ever seen the other 1/3, I was only about 10 years old and don't remember any of them. At one point I was talking to my dad about this and looking at the people who are roughly my age, and realizing that I very well could have been playing with them on the swings and merry-go-round the last time I saw them, but lord knows we all look very different than we did then!

Uncle George was a cook in the Navy back in the day, so he was on fish fry duty. Uncle Bruce battered the fish and handled the to/from the grill duties, Bryan somehow ended up cooking the cornbread (deep fried on the grill--YES!), and my dad ended up cooking the hot dogs and burgers for all the non-fish eaters. My dad was the only one not in the shade in front of his grill, and when I asked how the hell that happened, I found out my dear husband had told him to go cook the dogs/burgers. Nice, dear... bossing your father-in-law around?! ;-)

The fish was A-MA-ZING. It was catfish, but not like any catfish you've ever had. The cornbread was awesome too--even I had never had deep fried cornbread from the grill!

We also had a cole slaw cook-off. I had never made cole slaw in my life, and it turned out alright, but I knew I would not be winning any awards. My stepmom Brenda, my cousin Heather, Uncle George's wife, Aunt Irma, were the top 3. Bravo, ladies!

Bryan's parents also came down. They've become part of the family, and all the Grammers were thrilled they could make it. (Well, all the Grammers that know them, anyway!) They're always getting schooled on the art of being Southern, so this was their first time for catfish and pecan pie. They loved both. :)

It was a great day, and I really hope we do it again! You can check out more of my photos here.

Ridiculous.

2009-06-05T08:16:00.004-05:00

This is what it looks like in my garage right now. I won't even show you a picture of the 5 cars in the driveway in addition to this. Yes, as soon as we get home from vacation, selling some of this shit is at the top of our IF WE DON'T DO THIS I'M GOING TO HAVE A BLEEPING CONNIPTION* list.

*Is "conniption" even a word? As in, "conniption fit?" First I spelled it with just one N and blogger gave me a squiggly red line telling me I was WRONG, but when I added that second N blogger accepted it, so... I guess it is real. Even if it's generally only used by genteel Southern ladies. Like myself. ;-)

Friday Quick Hits

2009-05-29T06:18:00.002-05:00

I'm in a chipper mood this morning... maybe it's all the awesome stuff coming up? I don't know. But I was just browsing the news and since no one else is at work yet I needed to make a couple comments about some stories I came across and, GUESS WHAT! You get to be my coffee chat partner. :)

How awesome must it be to be LeBron James? Or really, how ridiculous? I don't watch NBA basketball, but I saw him on some Dateline show or something so I sort of pay attention to whether or not the Cleveland Cavaliers are doing well or not. Heard on the radio this morning that they won last night, putting them down one game in their semi-finals series with the Orlando Magic. And then CNN gives me this story, which says that for 11 minutes and 32 seconds, *every* Cavaliers point was either scored by him or through an assist by him. What. In. The. Hell. 32 points. And I love this paragraph... where it says he looks tired. Ya think? "When my guys make shots, it makes it a lot easier because it allows me to go one-on-one with a defender,'' said James, looking tired after his triple-double of 37 points (on 24 shots), 14 rebounds and 12 assists in 46 minutes. "That's what I need from my guys. I don't add no more pressure on my teammates, but they know we're a very strong team when they knock down shots.''

I totally need to use laodicean in a sentence today. I love the Scripps National Spelling Bee, but I was too entranced by So You Think You Can Dance last night to watch it. Still, in tribute, I *will* find a way to work that word into a sentence today. It means lukewarm or indifferent, particularly in matters of politics and religion. I know some people like that, so shouldn't be too hard to sneak it in. :) Congrats to Kavya Shivashankar, the 13-year-old winner!

Finally, this headline made me very, very happy. Rihanna to testify in Chris Brown hearing, lawyer says.

Memorial Day View

2009-05-27T06:56:00.002-05:00

So that's what my view was like for most of Memorial Day. :)

A few weeks ago, we bought a new toy. It's a 2006 Honda Goldwing motorcycle... or Bryan's "other wife" as one of his co-workers called it. While it mostly is something Bryan wanted, I actually really enjoy it too. Especially because the back seat is heated and unexpectedly comfortable. I wasn't able to post about it because Bryan's parents sometimes read my blog and he wanted to surprise them with it by us taking it up to visit them over Memorial Day, which we did. Bryan's dad had kind of figured that he'd bought a bike, because he knew Bryan was looking, but of course he didn't know for sure and didn't know what he'd get. When we arrived Friday night, his parents were asleep, and, knowing they'd be up before us, Bryan stuck a sign he'd made on the windshield that said "Happy Birthday, Bryan." His dad one-upped him by crossing out Bryan and writing DAD instead. :)

So anyway, most of the weekend was spent on the bike. Saturday we took a Klinger family ride, with Jan and Gary on one bike, Bryan and I on ours, and Bryan's brother Kevin and his daughter Katrina on another. We drove up to Lake Whompumupsidedahead (aka Lake Wallenpaupack, or something? I never could get it right, and Whompumupsidedahead really sounds about the same) to meet Kevin's new lady friend, who was there with her kids. The ride and visit were nice, as was Donna, but her damn dog BIT ME! She has two little yorkies, and even though I had been petting one of them in the house, I went to the bike to get something, and when I came back to the porch, he decided I was a stranger, and proceeded to jump and yip and generally freak out. In the process, the little punk chomped my knee straight through my jeans! I now have a half-dollar size bruise to show for it. Normally I love dogs, but this one really pissed me off. :)

Sunday we went to the extended Klinger family picnic, where I basically sat and ate all day while Bryan ate and worked it off playing volleyball. :) I get along well with my in-laws, so it was nice to see everyone again. Especially my adorable niece, Allie:

And then, Monday, more motorcycle riding. We had a nice ride home, in spite of running into a couple little rainshowers. I decided that rain on a motorcycle is a lot like turbulence on an airplane: a lot of it can be extremely uncomfortable, but a little bit just makes the ride more interesting. :)

A Stitchin' Time, Part 1: The Buy-In

2009-05-20T15:01:00.005-05:00

I mentioned a while back that I've been taking a quilting class with my Grandma. Well, I have been meaning to tell you all about it, but I'll be damned if I've had any time to WRITE about it--I don't even have enough time to do all my quilting homework! Ironically, the lady who teaches the class suggested we keep a quilt diary, where we journal our quilting experience and what goes on while we're making our quilt. Uh, yeah, lady, I'm too busy cutting/sewing/measuring/quilting to do that.

But, let's begin. And what better place to start than the beginning, right?

So for Christmas, my gift to my Grandma was for us to go to a beading class together at Bangles and Beads in Carytown (which we did, and enjoyed, but, again, too busy quilting--no time for beads!). After she opened it, she asked me if I'd ever be interested in doing a quilting class. I said, sure, why not? It meant more time with my Grandma, and it meant I would finally learn how to sew something, a skill I did not have in my domestic arsenal.

My family is from Chester, and right in the heart of Downtown Chester there's a store called the Busy Bea. It's a quilt shop, and they teach all sorts of quilting classes (if you aren't a quilter, you would not BELIEVE how many different types of quilts there are). So I called them up, and Grandma and I got registered for the class. Class was starting the week after Bryan and I returned from our Valentine's Day cruise, and Ms. Bea, the owner, told me that Grandma and I would need to come in and pick out our fabrics before the first class. It was kind of hard to find a time to go, since Grandma doesn't drive and I have to work and the place keeps banker's hours, but we made it down there the Thursday before our first class.

I think Grandma and I both were thinking we'd be there for, what, an hour, maybe two? I think we were there for three and a half hours. Holy crap, it is STRESSFUL trying to pick EIGHT DIFFERENT PRINTS that go together in this thing you're supposed to have for the rest of your life and pass on to your children, who will pass it on to their children, and so on and so forth. What made it even MORE stressful was that Ms. Bea was very opinionated on the matter.

A brief word on Ms. Bea. Ms. Bea opened the Busy Bea something like 30 years ago, and just Monday she turned 85 years old. She is still sassy and knows her quilts, but she likes to talk. And not necessarily about the topic at hand. This tendency often extends the amount of time any given task takes at the Busy Bea. Not that you don't want to hear what she has to say, just that sometimes she has a lot of it to say, and you still haven't gotten done what you wanted to do...

So anyway, Ms. Bea sent her daughter Cathy off to the bank while Grandma and I floundered around the shop trying to figure out what kind of quilt we intended to make. We started gathering bolts of fabric, and Ms. Bea would give us the ol' "That doesn't match!" every so often. Finally, thank God, Cathy came back and whipped us right into shape, and in what felt like no time, we had 11 bolts of fabric each: 4 light patterns, 4 dark patterns, the stripping (the main color of the quilt), the accent solid, and the muslin.

Excellent! Now we were ready for class on Monday!

Except, not so fast. We were to take home all, like, 50 yards of fabric and put each piece through the washing machine with NO SOAP (big letters), then pull each piece out wet and iron it dry. Then we were to gently fold and HANG IT on pants hangers so there would be no creases. If parts of the fabric dried before we could get to them with the iron, we had to have a spray bottle full of water--NO WATER IN THE IRON--and re-wet it and then iron it.

I should have known when I spent about six hours ironing on the Sunday before our first class and didn't even finish all of my fabric that this class was going to be very time consuming...

Hello, Baltimore.

2009-05-01T18:56:00.002-05:00

I'm in Baltimore for a conference. The company is good and there's lots of crab involved. I am a happy girl. :)

Sisterly Love

2009-04-28T13:49:00.005-05:00

So, my little sister came to visit over the weekend. We had talked about her coming for her spring break, but since that fell over Easter, her dad nixed that idea for various reasons that reinforce the reasons he is on my short list of "people I really, truly do not like at all" but that I won't get into now because, well, I just won't.

Victoria came down Thursday evening after her soccer game. Friday, we went to visit Christopher Newport University, where she'll be spending the next four years. I had never been there, and was impressed! It was ranked #7 of up-and-coming public universities by US News and World Report last year, and they've done lots of renovations, so everything is sparkly new. Definitely different from the "traditional" accommodations at UVA. :) I really think she's going to like it there, and I keep trying to pretend that it's not totally weird that she's old enough to be going off to college. ;-)

After the college tour, we stopped in Williamsburg for a little retail therapy at the outlets, then had to boogie back to Richmond for some pre-prep for the Arthritis Walk, which was Saturday. I've been on the committee for the Walk ever since I left the Foundation, so as the Health Expo Coordinator it was my job to make sure I had enough tables and such for the sponsors to display their wares at the event.

Victoria had been gung-ho about going to the Arthritis Walk when we were planning her visit, but her enthusiasm plummeted when I told her I had to leave the house at 530am. :) Lucky for her, Bryan wasn't leaving that early, so he ended up on teenager duty while I went to get set up.
It was a perfect day for the Arthritis Walk, and, as always, I loved seeing everyone!

After the walk, we loaded in one car and headed up to Maryland to check out Mimi, and after many hours at the car dealership, left with a new addition to our fleet. The plan was to trade in my Eclipse, but they didn't want to give us much for it, so we decided to bring her home and sell her ourselves. Which means that now we have six cars. And two motorcycles. And a dirtbike. Um, yes, we need to get on the ball selling some of those. Anyone interested in buying a 2000 Eclipse, a 95 Saturn or a 93 Eagle Talon? :)

Between the Walk and our trip to Maryland, we were all pretty much exhausted by the time we got home, so the rest of the evening was spent hanging around doing nothing. We did watch Baby Mama, which I actually found funny. That was quite an accomplishment for me, considering the state of mind I was in just a couple of weeks ago about not getting pregnant!

Bryan had to work on Sunday, so Vic and I lounged around for a bit before hitting up Target and heading up to Short Pump to meet the friend she was riding back to Bath County with. I was sad to see her go... I don't see her (or my brother or my mom) nearly enough, and we had a great time!

Hungry Hungry Hippo

2009-04-28T07:35:00.002-05:00

Lately, I am starving in the afternoons at work and have been frustrated because it's way easier to find junk food around here than anything remotely healthy. So when I stopped at the grocery store last night, I decided to pick up a few things to keep on hand. It wasn't until I put the bag down in my office and really looked at it that I realized I may have gone a tad overboard. :)

Meet Mimi

2009-04-26T14:42:00.002-05:00

My new (to me) 2008 Saturn Vue! We found her online and she was such a great deal that we drove up to Maryland and bought her yesterday!

Wading through Memphis.

2009-04-21T15:30:00.005-05:00

Mother Nature conspired against me this past weekend during my trip to Memphis, but I did not let her win! :)

Already my sightseeing time was short. I was there to give my opinions on certain advertising campaigns and such aimed at people living with rheumatoid arthritis, and that meeting was scheduled from 8am-5pm on Saturday. We also had dinner with the group on Friday evening. This left only late Friday night and Saturday evening for experiencing Memphis, since my flight left before anything opened on Sunday morning.

Friday I met several nice people at dinner, but everyone at my table decided they were hitting the sack early. I was a little bummed, because the night was still young. I called Bryan for a little encouragement, and he told me I needed to take my ass to Beale Street, particularly since it was only one block away. So I did. :)

Beale Street is the Bourbon Street of Memphis. There are lots of bars, clubs, restaurants, souvenir shops... that sort of thing. The street is closed off to car traffic so you can just wander around, and if you get stumbling drunk you don't have to worry about getting run over. I'm sure there's technically some other reason they close off the street, but I guarantee you this is part of the logic.

The first night I just walked up and down the street, only a few blocks, and took in the Memphis party crowd. They actually had a few bands playing in pavilions on the street, so I was able to hear some good blues without the awkwardness of going into a bar by myself. :)

Saturday's session was interesting. I'm fascinated by marketing techniques, probably should have been in advertising, so it was fun to see the campaigns this company is considering and hear and give feedback. Of course, I must admit I was a bit antsy for the day to be over so I could get out on the town!

I met a few people who were staying over Saturday night and we all decided to get together and go out. The forecast called for rain, and this time the weatherman was spot on. Our first stop we managed to achieve before the downpours set in. I headed to the Peabody Hotel with a girl named Jeni, who is from the Outer Banks. The Peabody is famous for its ducks. They live in a "duck palace" on the roof of the building, and every morning at 10 they parade them down to the lobby (via elevator) and they get in a fountain. They spend the rest of their day floating around this fountain, then at 5pm they parade them back up to their palace. Jeni and I got there at about 4:45, and already the place was so packed we couldn't really get a good view of the ducks. We did head up to their palace afterwards, though, and were able to see them up close and personal then. :)

As we left the Peabody, the rains began. We weren't sure where we were headed next, so we went to Beale Street for souvenirs and to see what was going on there. We walked around a bit, ended up at the Africa in April festival, which was plugging along despite the inch of rain on the ground, we picked up some souvenirs, and then kept on walking... we were not going to let this stupid rain impinge upon our tourism! We checked out a map posted downtown and realized we were near the trolley, so we went and hopped on. The trolley took us on a loop through downtown and down to the Mississippi River waterfront, and back up in time to meet our new friends for dinner. Along the trolley route we also passed the Lorraine Hotel, where Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated and which now houses the National Civil Rights Museum. We were bummed that the museum had closed before our session ended, but were also moved to see the 60's-era cars parked in front of the hotel, marking where King was shot. Next time I'm in Memphis, that museum is a must-see.

We picked up the rest of our group at our hotel and headed to Beale Street to get some dinner and hear some music. Jeni and I both had to go back to our rooms to change, as we were completely and utterly soaked. (The next morning, the flats I had been wearing were still so wet I could squeeze water out of them!) I had only brought two pairs of shoes, and since I had no interest in going home the next day wearing wet kicks, I walked back over to Beale barefoot. Sanitary? No. Effective? Yes. :)

We ate at a restaurant called Pig, and THANK YOU MEMPHIS for your awesomely delicious barbeque. :) I had ribs, and just thinking about them is making my mouth water! Our concierge had recommended this restaurant because of the entertainment, and he was right... the guys playing were awesome!

After we ate, Jeni and I and another girl from Marion, VA named Dana sat around and chatted for a while before we began hittin' the clubs. :) We had a great time chatting with strangers on the street, dancing, listening to a great R&B band... I even found a dude wearing Kanye West sunglasses and convinced him to let me wear his glasses and to take a picture with me. :)

Finally we headed back to the hotel, where the lamborghini from my previous post was parked. It was actually still there when I left the next day... wonder whose it was?

You can check out all of my pictures from Memphis here.

THIS is Memphis.

2009-04-21T08:41:00.003-05:00

More about my trip to Memphis later, but check out these dudes with their grills. They were hanging out next to this Lamborghini, which was parked in front of our hotel.

I first noticed that two of the guys had grills, and asked if I could get a picture of them by the car. As soon as I said, "I wanna get your grills with this car," ALL of them pulled their damn grills out of their pockets and flashed 'em! Awesome. :)

What's up with me.

2009-04-17T07:51:00.003-05:00

I feel like I've neglected this blog to some degree. I really don't have much explanation for that besides the fact that I haven't really felt like myself for a while now. But some stuff has been happening, so...

Had an awesome weekend this past one. Bryan's new position (since the fall) has allowed him to actually have a few days off during outage season, as opposed to the past 7 years where he was lucky to have even *one* day off between the beginning of March and the beginning of May. We did a lot of hanging out snuggling on the couch, went shopping (although I think we didn't buy ANYTHING now that I think about it), had dinner out, went to see Tracy Morgan at the National, went to Monument Ave. Easter on Parade, saw my friend Kim... I hate to sound cheesy, but I really love spending time with that man. I mean, I love HIM, period, but we have so much fun together and I'm still grateful and surprised on a daily basis that I was lucky enough to snag him as my husband. :)
So the shopping... the time has come for me to get a new vehicle. Sabine, my 2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse, has served me well, but she seems to be approaching her last leg. Also, when we eventually start a family, there is no way in hell I'll be heaving a car seat in and out of THAT tiny little thing, so I need to upsize. We went out Saturday afternoon to browse and see what exactly I *want,* since there are so many different options! I like the crossover SUVs and the small SUVs, so that's what we looked at. I think we have decided what I'm getting, but now we're stalking ebay and Craigslist like fiends until we can pounce on an awesome deal. I'll keep you updated. :)
I think a lot of you who read this know this, but for those of you who don't, we've been trying to get pregnant for quite a while now. Luckily for me, I know quite a few women who have struggled with the same problem, so I know I'm not alone, but it's been hard. I haven't wanted to talk about it too much for fear of jinxing us, but since we seem to be jinxed anyway, screw it. I'm not going to get into it too deeply right now, but that's why I haven't been myself. I'm used to setting my mind to something and being able to achieve it, so this trying to conceive (and NOT) business is foreign territory in a lot of ways for me. I reached a low point a couple weeks ago where I decided that I was going to stop putting my life on hold in anticipation of the enormous changes that come with becoming a parent and do the things I (we) want to do. And that decision has made a dramatic change in my mood. Yay for coming out of a slump, even if just for a while!
Although, I must admit, there's one thing in particular that has done wonders for my state of mind. I said we decided to stop putting things on hold, and one of those things is our next big trip. My boss was the one who said to me after we didn't get pregnant last month: JUST BOOK IT. Well, since she's a smart lady (and a doctor), we took her advice. And... WE'RE GOING TO SOUTH AFRICA!! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!! Yes, y'all, for two weeks in June we'll be trekking across South Africa in a six-passenger van, going on safari, checking out the beaches, seeing ELEPHANTS! (my favorite), ostriches, whales, penguins, riding a train... I mean, people, this is a trip of a lifetime. We've been talking about doing this sort of trip before we have kids, meaning going to some continent that we will likely not have the money to take our whole family to, and we finally picked a place and a time and we booked it. More details later... :)
Finally, I'm headed to Memphis this afternoon! My old boss from the Arthritis Foundation contacted me a couple weeks ago and told me that a pharmaceutical company was looking for people my age with rheumatoid arthritis for a focus group they were doing in Memphis. I told her I was definitely interested, and after a couple phone calls with the company, I was booking a flight! The drug company is footing the bill for all of my travel expenses, and in return I have to sit in a room all day tomorrow and give them my opinion. If you know me, you know this kind of thing is right up my alley. :) Plus, I've never been to Memphis, so I'm excited about that. The only bad thing is that I don't think I'm going to have a chance to see Graceland, because it's closed when I actually have free time. And that is about as tragic as Elvis's death, you know?

Two Birthdays for the Price of One!

2009-04-10T14:02:00.005-05:00

My grandma and my mother-in-law both had big birthdays this past Tuesday, so in what has become an annual tradition, last Saturday the party was at my house!

It turned out that lots of people from the Grammer family were able to make it, even though we only had the birthday girl and her date from the Klinger side. We had a great time, with lots of food, drinks and fun. We even ended the evening with a little dancing!

Happy Birthday, Jan and Grandma! You can check out all of the pictures here.

Running Away, "All the Pretty Horses" Style

2009-04-06T07:41:00.002-05:00

"A Boy and Two Horses" by Henry Stainer

I was never one of those kids that felt the need to run away from home. My mom or dad might tell me differently, but I can't remember a single instance where I even threatened to do so. Even so, I have found my run away hero.

Wyatt McLaughlin is a 13-year-old kid from Amelia County, a pretty rural place that's about 30 miles west of Richmond. Last Wednesday, Wyatt packed up two horses in a horse trailer, then loaded the family's truck up with food, clothing, some extra propane tanks and the family dog. And then he ran away--or should I say, DROVE away.

Already when I heard this part of the story, I had some mad respect for Wyatt. I mean, seriously, what 13-year-old has that kind of planning ability?! Hell, I was still playing with my Barbies when I was 13! (Crap, did I just admit that to the whole world?!)

Anyway, on Saturday, news came that Wyatt had been found. 1200 MILES AWAY, AT A RODEO IN TEXAS!!!!!!! Holy crap, kid! YOU ARE MY HERO! I mean, yeah, I understand his parents were probably worried sick. I feel for them, I really do, but DANG! I'm not even sure *I* could load all of that up and haul a horse trailer halfway across the country. You know the kid's dad is pissed, he has to be, but I bet secretly he is incredibly proud of his son for having such awesome survival skills at such a tender age. :)

The other details you may want to know: Wyatt had been to that rodeo before with his family, so it wasn't like he just randomly found somewhere to go. Also, the news story speculated that he may have been trying to get to a girl he had been chatting with online. (What percentage of runaways these days are because of online relationships? It's gotta be, like, 75% or more.) Also, his parents had gone to Texas because they thought he might end up there, so they were there to round him up. Oh, and even though he's only 13, he is apparently about 6' tall, so he can pass as 18 or 19.

I hope that Wyatt did just run away because of some girl and not because his home life was awful... certainly if there were some sad circumstances motivating him I'd be less inclined to be in awe of him and more inclined to feel bad for him. But still...

You can check out the Times Dispatch's coverage of Wyatt McLaughlin's Excellent Adventure here and here. Also, if you've never read All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy, you should. Every time I think of Wyatt I think of John Grady, the main character, and Cormac McCarthy is an amazing author... one of my favorites!

Morning Rant: Dumb Drivers on Cell Phones

2009-03-31T07:45:00.002-05:00

So here's the thing. I am not one of those people who believe talking on your cell phone while driving should be illegal. Some people are intelligent enough that they can do two things at once. And when I say "two things at once," I mean 1) hold device to your head and 2) pretend like you're driving with just one hand and talking to the passenger in your car. People drive with one hand all the time, and people talk to others in the vehicle all the time. The fact that you're talking on a cell phone really, truly should not have that big of an impact on your ability to control your automobile.

The problem is, there are idiots out there. People who, I guess when I think about it, are still good at doing two things at once, but they are the wrong two things... namely, 1) hold device to your head and 2) forget that you're driving a 2000+ lb vehicle and just pretend you're sitting on your couch talking to your best friend/aunt/husband/kid. What's worse is when people do this who are driving larger than average vehicles, like those giant-ass 1970's style vans. (I know there's a name for them, but I can't think of what it is... you know, the pre-minivan-van.)

I encountered someone like this today on my drive in to work. And probably the reason I'm ranting about it right now is that I first was just pissed that this person could not control their car--I didn't know why. As we're coming up on the fast lane toll on the Powhite, Ms. GiantAssGrayVan just slowly coasts right over in front of me, going about 15mph slower than I am. Her lane switch wasn't because there was someone in front of her or anything--there was no one else in her lane for a good 1/4 mile. Then, as we came out of the toll, she was just drifting around, halfway coming into the lanes on either side of the one I assume she intended to drive in. I had gotten out from behind her, but I'll be damned if I'm going to try to pass someone who's driving like they're asleep or drunk or dead. So I waited for the next lane over to be clear, two full lanes away from Ms. GiantAss, and drove past.

Of course I had to do that thing where you look over at the person to give them a rude face while you give her the ol' Yosemite Sam, and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW! Ms. GiantAss was just a'gabbin' away on her cell phone! You could tell by looking at her that she was in her own little world, with zero regard for the fact that she was driving a beast of a vehicle in morning rush hour traffic on the Powhite. Seriously, woman, you give cell phones a bad name!

Maybe talking on the phone while driving should be part of your driving test, and if you can't do it, then they put that on your driver's license, kind of like when you have to wear glasses to drive. That way, the police can pull you over if they see you driving like an idiot while talking on your cell, and if you're one of those people who has been deemed too dumb to drive on the phone, they can give you a ticket. If you're not driving like an idiot, then no one cares.

On Being Audited.

2009-03-26T09:57:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I got an email I hoped I would never see:

Once per quarter, the Internal Audit department pulls a random sample of all purchasing card holders and reviews all transactions for compliance and reviews all documentation and reconciliations maintained by the cardholder. Your P-card number was in the sample, therefore all documentation and reconciliations must be forwarded to our office.

I have known for months that the university is getting serious about internal controls and such, which I think is great (as long as the controls are clearly defined), but I was still hoping that I could just sit here in my little hole in Sanger Hall going about my business like I have since I started working here. It's not that I don't do what I'm supposed to do, it's just that the word "audit" freaks me the hell out.

Here are some of the things that have been going through my mind since I read that email:

What if I *think* I'm doing it right, but I'm really not, and I get fired?

What if I *think* I have all the documentation I need, but I've forgotten something, and I get fired?

What if there's some rule I don't know about (entirely possible), and I get fired?
What if I put the info in campus mail but it doesn't get there by the deadline, and I get fired?

Seriously, I'm terrified I'm going to get fired, even though I am pretty sure the majority, if not all, of my i's are dotted and t's are crossed. Isn't that what happens when people get audited?! Like, what if they don't believe that we bought that stuff from Oriental Trading for the kids in the HIV clinic?!

I hate dwelling on things, though, so although I could spend another day or two checking and double checking the guidelines on the university website about p-card management, I have already copied everything they asked for and stuck it in an envelope that will go in campus mail in a couple hours. I don't need that mess hanging over my head! I always did that with tests when I was in school, too... answer everything I can that I'm pretty sure I know, then turn that shit in. I was never one to sit there and go over my test a million times. And mostly, that worked out for me just fine.

Hopefully this time it will, too!

Go-Go Gadget Weekend!

2009-03-23T12:00:00.002-05:00

Well, folks, I am officially on the 21st century gadget bandwagon. Saturday was a day of technology shopping for us, making at least part of yesterday a day filled with exclamations of "how the hell does this thing work?" and excited squeals when I was able to get them to do what they are supposed to do. :)

For Christmas, Santa (aka my husband) brought me a Roomba, which is a robotic vacuum cleaner that vacuums for you--all you do is push a button and off it goes. Well, Bryan thought he was getting the one you could schedule to clean when you're not home, but it turns out it didn't have that capability. We talked about upgrading it, but the scheduler ones were so dang expensive that we just never did anything with it. We kept waiting to figure it out, until one day Costco figured it out for us! They had the scheduler model on sale for only about $30 more than Bryan paid for the one he got me for Christmas, so our decision was easy. Saturday we exchanged the Christmas one (yes, I know it's been 3 months since Christmas, but that's just how we roll) for the fancier one.

Well, my new Roomba was the beneficiary of many squeals of delight yesterday as she roamed around my downstairs sucking up all the little bits of dirt and dust we've tracked in. It reminds me of Johnny 5 from that 80's movie Short Circuit, during the part where Johnny gets confused and starts running into everything. The Roomba apparently has its own set pattern and method for cleaning a whole room, but the instruction manual is quick to let you know that you are going to think the thing is crazy. When it's doing its thang, it doesn't appear to make a bit of sense. That doesn't matter, though, because when it's done, the floor is clean! Awesome, I tell you, especially because my arthritic self and vacuuming do not mix.

The other exciting gadget that came into my world over the weekend in my new Samsung Omnia cell phone... or whatever they're calling the fancy ones these days! The Omnia is kind of like the Apple iPhone in that it is touch screen and can do all kinds of Jetsons-style things. This little bugger was the primary recipient of the "how the hell does this thing work?" sentiment, but she got a few squeals of joy, too. :) I had to be careful, though, because it was Bryan's first weekend off in ages and Saturday evening I think he was getting his feelings hurt a little bit because I was paying more attention to the phone than to him. :) Don't worry, I put it away after a little while. And not just because the battery died.

Photo Credits: Inspector Gadget, Roomba, Omnia

Yet again, the Madness is upon us!

2009-03-20T14:27:00.003-05:00

I don't really care about basketball most of the time. Maybe it's because, as a girl who's almost 6' tall, I heard "You're so tall! Do you play basketball?" way too many times in my formative years and I'm bitter because I never had the skillz. Whatever it is, I never watch NBA basketball and hardly ever watch college basketball.

Until March Madness sets in.

And people, it has begun.

A couple years ago I started getting in on an NCAA pool and have been hooked ever since. It turns out I'm a pretty good guesser--I came in second the first year and was in contention to win for quite a while last year. I don't know jack about the teams, I just look at them and see which one my "woman's intuition" tells me is going to win. It's very scientific, and I'd bet most women you know who fill out brackets do it that way, too. :)

While I really get nothing but enjoyment out of obsessing over my bracket (I carry a printed copy and highlighters and a sharpie with me everywhere I go during the tournament), I did worry this morning that the whole "madness" part might be seeping into my psyche. See, last night I dreamed about my bracket. It was actually more like a nightmare, because in my dream UNC lost in the first round. I woke up freaking out (for real) because if that had happened, I was kissing any chances of winning my pool goodbye, since I have them in the final four! Luckily I was able to talk myself down and remember that it was virtually impossible for them to have lost to Radford, and I was able to go back to sleep.

I did wake up about 20 minutes earlier than I had to so I could tune in to ESPN and see how I did last night, though. ;-)

Go Memphis!

I'm still alive, really.

2009-03-18T14:07:00.002-05:00

Man, I have been slackin' on my bloggin' haven't I? Sorry about that. For some reason when my husband works crazy hours I go into an alternate universe. Which basically means I become an extreme couch potato and sit and sulk because I miss him. When I was talking to my friend Glenn, who I ride the bus with, the other day about how sad I was that I wasn't going to see Bryan for a couple of days (his night shift and my day shift meant our paths did not cross at home), he responded, "Wow, you really do miss him, don't you?" Yes, yes I do.

Yesterday Bryan actually got home around 5:30, making it the first time I had seen him in the daylight in about two weeks. He brought home a pizza, and about 20 minutes after we finished eating he was asleep with his head in my lap. The man is exhausted, as is usual with outage season at the power station. Supposedly his new position (since the fall) means he'll work less overtime, but I haven't seen it yet...

The past couple of weeks haven't been especially notable otherwise, with the exception of my foray into the world of quilting, which will be another post altogether... too much to say about that!

Really what it boils down to is I'm totally over winter and ready for some spring weather to come along and perk me up. I've had about enough of cold, rainy days.

An Open Letter to Rihanna.

2009-03-05T14:15:00.003-05:00

Dear Rihanna,

I've been following the stories about Chris Brown assaulting you for the past several weeks. I was sad for you when I first heard, but hoped somehow it was just an argument that got a little out of hand.

Then the photo came out of you the night of the attack. I honestly thought I might vomit when I saw it. It was obvious that what you experienced that night was no lovers' quarrel. You were beaten in a way that no one should EVER be beaten.

Then came the news that you were back together with Chris Brown and hanging out in Miami together. My heart sunk. How could you send this message to all of the young people who admire you and follow your life? It is NOT okay for you to go back to your abuser. You don't even have the excuse that you have nowhere else to go, or that you can't make it on your own. You are beautiful, successful, independent woman. Yet you chose to go back to the man who beat you, and in doing so told every little girl in the world that if your boyfriend hits you, you forgive him if you love him.

Then today, TMZ released the full Search Warrant and Affidavit. As I read it I realized that a piece of me was still hoping there was more to the story than we knew--that somehow it wasn't really as bad as that picture looked. Instead, what happened that night is much worse than I could have imagined.

Rihanna, you are a victim of domestic violence. You have experienced what way too many millions of women experience and don't know how to escape. Being assaulted the way you were is NEVER forgiveable. Ever. And it WILL happen again. And again. And again. Until you decide that you will not allow it to happen again.

Please do not turn a blind eye to the monster you've decided you love. I'm sure he came crawling back with apologies and gifts and promises to never do that again. I'm sure you want to give him another chance. But you can't. You chose a career that has turned you into a role model, and you OWE IT to your fans to NOT be with your abuser. Otherwise, young men will see that if they lose their tempers and put a beat down on their girlfriends that they'll be forgiven--and given a chance to do it again. Young women will see that boyfriends get angry sometimes and even though they might hit you, as long as they apologize and say they love you, the deserve another chance--to do it again. These are not the lessons you should be teaching.

I wish I knew you. I'd be on my knees begging you to do the right thing here: press charges, make a public statement about how domestic violence is NEVER okay, and begin a mission to assure other women never have to experience what you did that night.

Please, please, please, please, please seek counseling and advice from professionals who know about this sort of thing, and please listen to what they say.

Pleadingly,
lydia

The Breakfast Song

2009-03-04T13:43:00.006-05:00

Oh dear.

1. I bet this dude came up with this song for Lent. He was thinking, "What do I really LOVE that I could sacrifice for Jesus during Lent? I know, breakfast!" And then he got to thinking about how horrible it would be to not have breakfast, until the Lord popped in on his thoughts and said, "Yo, Uncle Elroy, you know I'm going to come take you home one day and you will not give a CRAP about breakfast!" And Uncle Elroy realized that if he could just put into a song all of the breakfast foods people love and remind us that that shit ain't gonna matter one day, he would have a serious chance at cracking Billboards' Top 100.

2. Aunt Yvonne does not look especially thrilled to be joining in this nonsense with Uncle Elroy. You know he probably told her, "Look, woman, unless you sing this song with me on the Mornin' show, YOU won't have no mo' grits or corn flakes or beef steaks or ANY of that breakfast food!" And you can also tell that they have been through this song about a million times to get it right, because near the end I caught her silently singing along with Uncle Elroy's part. She was probably pissed SHE didn't get to sing about the food, just about the going home part.

3. You know what this song reminded me of? Back in the early 80's McDonald's put out 45s with their menu song... you remember... they came up with a ditty that encompassed their whole menu, and if you could go in and sing it, you got a free Big Mac. Do you think if I went to Aunt Sarah's and sang (typo, but really you don't "sing" a song like this, you sang it) The Breakfast Song that I would get a free meal?

4. This song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. I know it. Thanks a lot, dlisted via Crunk & Disorderly.