i should buy an umbrella. really.

about 2 months ago, maybe longer, the forecast was for rain and i, by some miracle, had actually remembered to bring my umbrella. i was actually a bit excited when a situation arose during the workday that required me to go outside to another building and it was raining, so rare is it that i actually have an umbrella with me when it rains. so i grabbed my cute black umbrella with the white polka dots and headed outside.

i get outside, open up the umbrella and am irritated to see that one arm of the thing just sort of dies. like, pops out of the top and then goes all crooked. i start to attempt repair, shoving the thing back in its hole, and another arm cracks. great. stupid umbrella. i stand under cover for a minute or two more, continuing my futile efforts to fix my little friend. ultimately, i realize the surgery is not going to be successful, so i chuck it in the trash and trot out into the rain. whatever, it's just a little water. and wouldn't ya know, it wasn't really raining, just a little sprinkle.

i made a mental note that day to pick up another umbrella the next time i was at target, which i'm sure was like, the next day or the day after. i go to target a lot. but here it is months later, and i still have not purchased a replacement umbrella. what the hell.

when i was in college, i learned that, really, i don't care for umbrellas. for one thing, when walking somewhere with friends in the rain (that happened a lot in college), it was either a pain in the butt if more than one person had an umbrella because they all bumped together, or it was a pain in the butt because either my friend had to hold the damned thing high enough for my tall self to fit under or i had to be the one to wield it effectively enough to keep both of us dry. i eventually decided that i disliked umbrellas more than i disliked being wet.

from then on, i see the weather forecast calling for rain, typically don't believe them or think that i'll probably not be caught in it anyway, and don't carry an umbrella. or, i see the forecast and realize that they aren't kidding and tell myself to grab the umbrella before i leave for work, then forget by the time i'm walking out the door. usually this turns out to be no big deal, but lately i've gotten too wet a couple times too many.

a couple of weeks ago i left work to torrential downpours. i was leaving a little early to go get a massage and it was imperative that i catch the 4:09pm bus, so when i got to the ground floor and looked out the window to a giant sheet of water, i scoured the ground floor for an empty trash bag and put it over my head. i went outside and realized that it was pretty stupid to have dry hair but the rest of me be soaking wet, so i ditched the plastic bag. i got to the corner where i needed to cross the street to catch the bus, and wouldn't you know the light turns green for the traffic to go. there i stood, completely exposed to the elements, no shelter or umbrella or raincoat anywhere to save me.

by the time i got across the street and under an awning, i was literally dripping. i dripped the entire 45 minute busride home, too. it. was. miserable. i just kept saying to myself, jesus, woman, DO NOT FORGET TO BUY AN UMBRELLA.

but i still haven't bought one. after that i was a little terrified of a repeat of that scene, so i started carrying around a yellow plastic poncho still in the package that bryan and i bought somewhere (don't remember when or why). and of course it never rains when i remember to bring THAT.

yesterday, i went to short pump town center to an appointment at the spa there. as i got close to the mall, i noticed some serious lightning happening right in the general location of the shopping center, and the emergency broadcast system came on the radio and told me there was a crazy storm in the vicinity. it wasn't raining at this point, so i wasn't too worried. i parked, and some big drops started falling a bit sporadically. i started towards the mall, and all of the sudden the sky opened up and the angels started pouring out their bathwater. i started to run towards the mall, slipping and sliding in my flip-flops, and finally made it to cover. soaking wet. dripping wet. like i had taken a shower with my clothes on and just stepped out and come to the mall.

i make it into the spa to find that the power is out! lovely. i ask for a towel after standing there dripping all over the floor for a few minutes (you'd think they may have asked if i needed one, the way i looked, but they did not), and ask if my service is going to happen. they decide they might be able to just use some candles, but after the phones and computers also went off about 5 minutes later, i decided to just go. which meant i was going to have to brave the rain. again.

this time, since i was already soaked, i took my time. took of my shoes and kicked in a few puddles and just headed home... i had intended to go to the grocery store and target on the way, but these errands are highly unpleasant when wearing wet denim shorts, wet shirt, and wet undergarments, so instead i just stopped at chipotle and went home.

"where are the bags?" bryan asked when i got there.

"don't ask, just eat," i said.

maybe today i'll finally make it out to get that umbrella... i do have the poncho in my bag in the meantime.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've always known you were special, now I know just how special you actually are!! You shilly sit! Love ya, Aunt Brenda